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Yours sincerely,
Albert Zhen
Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow今日の馬鹿,明日わ天才
Destruction of the soul, Depravation of heaven and true understanding of one's self. Timelessness and Eternity is but in one's mind.
I dreamt that I was a boy who survived an accident. After the accident, the boy was living alone somewhere in China but looking for his father. His mother seems to have died before the accident or at childbirth. The boy remembers nothing about it. The age of the boy was pre-pubescent about 11 or 12.
His father was missing after the accident. But never reported dead, just missing. The boy had a memory, one that was garbled but I managed to see through the fractures. He thought he had seen his father at the nearby noodles stall. He was a worker or a customer that seemed to be passing through and stopped by to eat noodles. It was crowded so the boy could not push through the crowd in time for a better look. The father seemed not to recognize him and then one of the patrons at the stall called for them to leave.
The boy managed to get to his father but his father would not acknowledge him, the boy asked around and it seems that the father is suffering from some memory condition that makes him forget about his past. A local medicine woman had nursed him back to health after a terrible accident several years ago.
The boy found the local medicine woman who told him that the damage was permanent and his father will have no chance of remember if the boy was his son. The boy was disappointed but was brought away by the two scientists who are now his foster parents.
There was a strange couple that took the boy in after the accident. They were Caucasians. The boy was Asian. This strange couple were scientists who were studying ancient lore and knowledge about a particular legend of the four primordial forces on the planet: Good, Evil, Nature and Chaos. An unknown amount of time will pass but personifications or avatars that represented each of the primordial forces have been born and they have always met up for a competition with one another and then all of them perished either during or after the fight.
When the time was right, Good will pick Nature, while Evil picks Chaos. Two boys and two girls will meet. Their essence infused with one another across great distances even before they meet. They will think in step and act together. Until you cannot tell which primordial force the child had originally been born with.
In my dream, I was the boy. But because our minds were joined, I also glimpsed the girl and her past. She was born in America, same age as the boy. And she was locked up in the basement because of her unusual behaviour and temperament. Her parents gave her drug treatments in hopes of controlling her emotional outbursts and also gave her lots of toys. Keeping her in the drug haze was not enough to control her.
With the drugs, the dolls and toys around her seemed real, real enough to talk to her. And they had a life of their own. ‘Crocky’ was a toy crocodile but was longer than 3 meters and was swimming in the moat around their home. ‘Dahlly’ was a Bunny who walked on hind legs and was 2 meters tall bulging with muscle. There were other toys, but they had less significance and were forgotten once our minds combined.
When the time for the clash was about to begin, our minds melded and we were one. I helped her move her sedated body to the train station where the male scientist picked up the girl and brought her to me. During the move, she kept asking ‘Dhally’ about ‘Crocky’ and if ‘Crocky’ would be coming with us. ‘Dhally’ told her that ‘Crocky’ is busy making sure that she gets to meet me safely. Even while drugged, our combined powers were enough to make her parents lose their ‘sight’ of her. Even though she was staggering step by step towards the door, her parents ran panicked around the room and brought out the other toys that she didn’t remember to tempt her to remain. We both saw ‘Crocky’ near the end, snapping its mouth around her father’s neck decapitating him. She got to the train station safely after that.
Upon holding her hand, our appearance went through an alteration. Our skin turn green and purple, our hair was mottled brown and our eyes flashed with lightning. When next we spoke, we spoke together with our voices mingled with one another directly from our throats. Even if one of us spoke, you heard both voices.
“So it is done? Good and Nature are one again. So it is time?” The male scientist asked with anticipation.
“It is done.” Dual-toned my voice was mixed in with hers; strangely melodious.
“So what are you going to do? Evil and Chaos are so violent! Is there a chance?” The female scientist lamented.
“Do not doubt Nature, she is violent and ceaseless. Good is not without its protection. If Evil and Chaos becomes violent, so will us.” We chided with our voice rumbling.
It was only an hour’s dream. And this is all I can remember. So vivid, so real and I will try to remember more of the feelings I had felt during the dream, I am so strangely disoriented.
Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow今日の馬鹿,明日わ天才


Dark Side
So I've lived my life of passion rather than neutrality, go read the book "Path of Destruction" for an interesting insight into how a person can fall completely to the Dark Side of the Force. I would be a Darth Bane if there was such a thing as the Force. I empathized completely with Bane and would have probably walked in his footsteps if I were put in his shoes. A life of abuse really can warp a person so completely.
But I am stronger for it, if there are others who want to fight for a cause greater than themselves, must first understand themselves. To know if they have the passion that is in line with the cause they want to fight for. And not some whimsical reason that can be blown away like leaves in the wind. Otherwise their false passions will shatter from a single blow of reason and be forced to live a life of denial.
In other news
My laptop died today, it is confirmed that my computer products suffer great overuse and are wearing out many years before their due departure. It's probably the amount of juice I try to squeeze out of them by running applications at levels way out of the league of low budget rigs. I squeeze so much out, it's sometimes a little scary what I've been able to do with so little. 2 desktops and a laptop later, only shows that I need a rig that can withstand the punishments I dole out. Perhaps it's time to really spend some serious cash in getting something strong enough to resist for more than 2 years. I'd probably save more money in the long run.
Testing configurations to last 2 years:
I've already have 2 monitors as well as 4 DVD-RW drives sitting around doing nothing, so I'm not bothering with those purchases. So far my aqquaintances at the shops around Sg have been able to give me a quotation for what I want under 900 bucks. With an operating system I suppose I'd hit 900 plus but still under 1000. Well, I'd probably use any of the Vista 64bit versions otherwise I'd be wasting the ram and the quad core multitasking threadlines. Sigh I need a new rig soon.
Alauz Out!
Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow
今日の馬鹿,明日の天才