Missing

Action
Yes people, I've been missing in action. MIA in it's acronym form. I've mysteriously disappeared and almost no one had contact with me for the last few days. I like to do this as a social experiment on occassion. It tests whether what kind of friends you make. If you made pro-active friends, then chances are someone would automatically call you when you slip under the radar. But of course since I went MIA, means the friends I keep are the more passive type.

Passive vs Active
There is no clear cut winner of this comparison. It's actually more to our individual tastes. I for one am an introverted extrovert. What does that mean??? It means I'm a shy socialite, a person who take time to warm up to people. But when I do, people feel that I can get pretty social and go out pretty often with them. Normally it takes anywhere between 6 months to a year before I feel comfortable enough to behave like an extrovert with a new friend.

Personality Problem?
Yeah, sometimes I wonder what the heck's wrong with me. When people first know me, I'm like so weird, shy and so abstract from the world. Then when you know me long enough, POW! I change into another person and I become like any other friend who does the normal things a friend does. Perhaps it's because of my apprehension of making the undesirable friends. I've had some nasty experiences before, I had a major change in personality after that. I guess this is just the way to filter the unworthy from the worthy.

Worthy Friends
Friends whom I find worthy, are usually showered with attention and help when they need it. Unworthy friends are usually ignored, ostracized and generally we barely even communicate. Friends are supposed to hang with you through thick and thin right? Well, it all depends on how thick and how thin are you and your friends willing to endure together. But hey, true friends are gems in the rough. You won't know who your real friends are until the situation calls for it.

People
We should all go out to meet new friends. At least that's why one of my friends is telling me. I used to be all excited about meeting new people and making friends with them. But after a bad experience of being abused and misused, the toad was bitten and now he's shy. It's still easy to go out and meet new people, it's still easy to strike up a conversation. But it's no longer easy to trust a stranger and even harder to let them become my friend. Hurt done by a friend runs deeper than I thought it would. There's nothing more painful than being hurt by a friend whom you trust alot.

Getting Over It
It's easy to say, "Get over it!" But it's never easy to do. I mean, time sure does heal all wounds. However, there are some wounds that time only heals halfway. I don't know if I'd ever go back to the person I once was, that was a person who loved socializing, had no problems expanding his social circle, was willing to try new relationships. Right now, I'm more of a train wreck that can't do any of the above. I've been like that since I entered NS. It's sometimes quite painful to see myself like this, I know I've got to change soon or I think I'm in danger of becoming a bitter, angsty and vengeful person. I guess I'm off to change myself now. Alauz Out.


Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow