Phoenix
Flames of Rejection
It feel strange saying this from a non-break-up kind of perspective but yeah, I'm going to say it. It is still painful even though it isn't personal, it's something that keeps me sharp and jolts me back to reality. I just realized this morning, that the people involved in direct sales, are seriously very deluded. And that manager plays his brainwashing techniques on the delusion of the young.
Phoenix Down
So he kills their years as a youth by promising them a proper "education" in attitude, then takes advantage of the fact that they want to experience hardship
and just pushes them to work for him without question. I mean their basic pay doesn't even have increment of ANY SORT. What the bloody heck is going on there? If I didn't know better, it's GAWD DAMN Illegal to do that in Singapore. You've got to increment their pay my man, or inflation's going to eat them. ALIVE.
Burnt to Ashes
I'm sure the turn over rate in this company is CRAZY HIGH. It's a direct sales company, I can't believe I'm still bitching about it. I can't believe the Trainer I thought whose innocence was cute, called me to try and prick my conscience. I'm quite sure she just wanted me to go and work for that manager who she thinks is quite an angel. An angel of pain, suffering and negligence. But and angel to her nonetheless.
Rising from the Dead
And I pray, for the world to balance itself. I know for sure that if this company closes down, there'd be 2 or more upstarts that will take its place. So I know I shouldn't pray that it closes down. But I pray that this form of marketing will die out quickly. But it is run by people who think that Hell on Earth is the "in" thing that all youngsters want to experience. I want to experience the working life, not hell on earth with no reprieve.
Angels on Earth
I believe that Angels exist still, but they work thru more mysterious ways. Like example, treating another person with respect, kindness, love, appreciation and affection could be God's way of making Angels of the person giving out these actions. They say God's will cannot be denied, no matter you are one of the flock or not. God works through every single one of us. His wrath is felt from us, through us, for us. His agents we are, every single one of us. When you commit and action you thought not possible, perhaps God is at work.
Devils on Earth
It's not really Devils as per se, it's more like God's other cardel of Angels. These other Angels are the a twisted opposite of their former selves. They have sacrificed all that was Holy, Pure and Innocent to work towards God's grand scheme of things. Devils are to be feared, true. But God should be feared even more, many people forget that. The Devils are capable to make us do things like, greed, lust, gluttony, basically the 7 sins and more. They pull us in the other direction, making us take people for granted, abusing our family, do thoughtless acts. But without them, we will never know that appreciating our blessings the lord has already bestowed upon us.
The Balance
I feel like a bloody turncoat. Always showing people what's on the other side of the coin. Perhaps if you look at the coin's exterior, there are 2 obvious sides. But I tend to look at a coin from 5 different perspectives.
Coin's Interior
I look at the coin's interior, is it a solid coin? Is it a trick coin with multiple coins combined into one?
Coin's Build up
I look at what the coin is made out of. Copper, Nickle, Gold or is it an Alloy? Is it heavy? Does it shine or is it dull? What does it taste like? Is it mallable, meaning if I bite on it, will it leave a mark?
Coin's Exterior, Heads
The so called Heads of a coin, why do we "coin" the term heads? Hahaha, it's a stupid pun I know. I'm guessing that in the past, there was a Head on every side of a coin. And there was a Head of a conquerer or the like so thus you have to look at the design and appreciate the impact this person made on the world.
Coin's Exterior, Tails
Why is it called Tails, perhaps at one point in time there no longer were 2 Heads on a coin no more. People wanted to have separate denominations of coins using the same type of metal. Thus instead of using different metals to signify the different denominations, they decided to put the denomination value on the coin's flip side. Thus in terms of an animal, the opposite of a Head of the coin would be the Tail of a coin. It's more important to look at this part of the coin though, it tells you usually how much the coin is worth.
Coin's Exterior, Side
Oh yes, this is a 3 dimensional world, thus we cannot only have 2 exterior sides. Thus, the side of the coin also makes an impact whether you know it or not. If you notice the sides of the one dollar and fifty cent coins here in Singapore. You will notice that instead of grooves like the rest of the coin, there is the name of our country on it. Sometimes it's small things like that, that catches my attention. Perhaps I just like a little bit of detail or I'm a nit-picker. But a side of a coin tells you alot about the effort put into the minting process. It gives you the country's level of commitment and dedication to it's processes, other words tell you how strong the country's economy and productivity is.
Over Analyzing
The fact is I'm Biased and Judgemental. I need something upon which to Judge and be Biased about. Thus I came up with these observations thru fundamental analysis. I like to look at the root of things rather than just the results. I believe that the phrase "I don't care how it's done, as long as it gets done" is bullshit. Your telling me that to achieve this level of profit for an organization, your willing to commit crimes against humanity. Your going to hurt other people, maybe even your own families and you have no Qualms about it. I like to say this to you people, "Fuck You". Fuck you! I'm serious.
Think before you Speak
Kind of Ironic isn't it? We've been taught these values since young, I've been rejecting it since day one. I do not believe in the fact that we only want results. What ever happened to "The Journey is more important than the Destination."? That is far more important. Go watch the movie "Click". That is a PERFECT example of ignoring the journey and focusing on the results. What if you had the power to Fast Forward your so called "Boring" parts of your life? You'd end up with NO LIFE.
Walk the Talk
Not the other way around. I've been walking the path I've been bitching about for so long, sometimes I wonder if anyone in this world is going to give a shit. Well, nobody's giving a shit what I think for the past like 12 years since I decided to walk my own path. It doesn't matter. When I die, my conscience is clear. I know that I've done what I came to earth to do. I won't try to bluff my way during Judgement, because there wouldn't be a need to. Say what your heart tells you to say, do what your heart wants you to do. When you die, it's too late to have any regrets.
Passion
Do what you want to do in life. It's NEVER too late. Even if your 90 years old, but if you decided to finally give sky diving a try. If you survive, you have one heck of a memory. If you die, you go to heaven with a rush in your veins and not sour regret that you never done something you REALLY wanted to do. Put your soul into your passion and let it blossom into reality. Do not ENVY others who have done so, join them. I am trying to do what I love, no regrets if I end up a bum. It's better than saying, "I could have gotten that job if I gave it 100%".
Do! There is no Try
Do things, plan if you must. But you have to follow through with action or your just bluffing yourself. Keep the promises you make to yourself, it's HARD. HARDEST thing any person alive can do. But you can do your best. Notice I did not use the phrase, Try your best. It never works if you try your best. Do your best is better. Excuses are there to prevent us to hurting ourselves. But without hurting yourself a little, you will never know if you can do it. The attitude cannot be trained little by little. You have to gather whatever courage you have and just do it.
Everyone can do it
I mean it. Everyone, if given the right push can do it. The tricky part comes next. How much is the right push? That can only be decided by the individual AFTER the push has been made. Sometimes, the push is too light and the person just not motivated enough to do it. Sometimes, the push is too heavy and the person feels battered into doing it. And rarely, the push is just right and the person becomes like me. Yeah like me, I do what I want in life. Sure I'm affected by everything that everyone says. But I continue to walk the path I want to walk, not another path someone else lays in front of me. That is not courage, it's your soul in motion. Alauz Out.
įžãã (ki-rei-na) Beautiful.
Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Work
Working
Sucks, truly, deeply and always the case. But that doesn't mean we can live without it. Anyways had an "Orientation" with a "marketing" company today. I won't disclose any names of the people or company involved as to protect my privacy. Who knows, they might start hunting me down and pester me until the moment I leave this earth.
Sucking
Oh yeah back to the orientation. It was a wonderful tour of a location I will now avoid to mention in the case where some of you are living there and saw me or the case where you passed by that area and saw me. In other words, you never saw me. Well, the tour would be wonderful enough, if there wasn't work to be done. This time, work was to gather donations from the people living in the above mentioned unmentionable location.
More Sucking
Guess what the job's all about? Direct Sales! You got it! OMG NO FREAKING WAY I WILL EVER, in my no matter short life will I EVER take a DIRECT SALES job EVER AGAIN! Well, enough with the shouting and screaming and raving. I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE THIS JOB'S DIRECT SALES! AGAIN! Fuck, I think direct sales is really hard to get out of my system. But I'm surprised at my tolerance level. I did not scream, shout, inflict bodily harm or rape any of the people involved with my orientation.
Interest NOT!
Well, I even managed to endure the WHOLE day, of helping along with direct sales and even make it back to the office at the end of the day. Which happened to be 6.30pm by the way. I cannot believe I even managed to act interested when the manager had a 2nd interview with me regarding joining the company full time. Then it occured to me, if I can take the punishment from this merciless orientation in this job. I can take all the bullshit in the world. And that my friend, was exactly what happened when the manager opened his mouth to attempt to brainwash my mind.
Behavioral modification
He touted that the company wants the right "attitude" from their staff. And he tells me that he joined the company 14 years ago and he's now a manager of this branch and he's earning a 5 digit salary. He said that the company molds the right "attitude" in people and sets them out with the "right" attitude to succeed in life. I knew at once, that this brainwashing center has gone ballistic on the youths that it has ensnared.
Innate Resistance
Of course like any self respecting writer and person who has manupilated people since I was in secondary school, I saw right thru this brainwashing technique. In essence this technique can be described as, "Making them think the way you want them to and making them think that they wanted it in the first place."
Brainwashing Jutsu
A constant user of this technique myself, I found the attempt truly amusing. I faked compliance and told him I would like to seek the correct "attitude" upon entering the company. (Yes I agreed to work for them verbally but never signed a contract of any sort) Little do they know, I'm going to screw them royally when I wake up tomorrow. The reason why I didn't screw him over right away there and then, I was absolutely smitten by this really kawaii trainer and her equally cute partner they had assigned me.
Taming of the Beast
They used the "Mei Ren Ji" in Chinese, translated to english would be using a beautiful bait for the hook. I decided to spend the day with 2 cute girls and the trainer's endless flirtations, visual eye candy and enjoyed the friendly banter that 2 cute girls can only provide. They are both younger than me, consider it a fresh meat bonus. I feasted upon the non-physical companionship today and had a really scary insight into the company.
Complete Obedience
They had brainwashed my trainer to the point she is most probably stuck in her current position for the next 3-4 years without her even realizing it. She has already been in her position for over 2 years and she's one of their best direct sales girl and she's STILL a trainer. For the lost, the trainer position is the very next position after you finish your trainee stage. "HOLY CRAP! They sure did a banged up job on her." I thought to myself when she said that.
Patience
I wanted to ask her why she isn't in a higher position, but I refrained from doing so because I knew I would only hit the "Brainwash Barrier" oh so common in the techniques used by these marketing companies. I really like her I thought to myself, I must be getting soft. By the way, lookswise, you normally wouldn't give these girls a second look. What made them cute to me, was their innocence and desire to help others. It helped that they weren't fat, but they looked good enough in their jeans and collared Tees.
Innocence
I am two years older than my trainer and she's like 3 years older than her partner. They are exactly the same age as my 2 younger brothers. I guess that also made me feel alot closer to them. The whole feeling I had today, was a feeling you would normally have with close siblings. Perhaps that's why I got soft. They purposely planned the two ladies that reflect my brothers' age to work on me.
Corporate Cruelty
I believe that the company will cruelly exploit every single young person they get their hands on. They will warp their minds to a point of no return and use those warped minds to warp others to their own. If it were just 1 year ago, I will not tolerate such actions and seek to destroy what I can. But I aged, wizened or just perhaps grew up a little. I will allow nature, no matter how twisted, to run its course. These companies exist only to ensnare the weak of will and mind. It is no surprise I was the only one with a diploma applying for the job.
Nature's Way
Survival of the best. It has always been nature's way of handling things. If those two poor innocent girls are misused, I will allow it. The experience will either destroy or strenghten their minds. What that will not destroy them, will only make them stronger. While my soul longs to rescue them from this exploitation, I tell myself that they will not understand even if I managed to get out.
Destruction of one's beliefs
Did I also mention they have "chants and cheers" together at the start and end of their day. The manager said that this is to encourage a positive mindset. I however have seen these rituals present in most cults and secret society meetings that aims to convert the souls of people to their form of worship. While this is disturbing my beyond a reason of a doubt, God has shown me that he allows such things to exist only so that these things may strengthen us. Why has he allowed my mind to remain intact after exposure to so much of these strong controlling influences otherwise?
Open Self Discussion
I believe that people who talk to themselves aren't crazy, but rather, are dealing with issue that are quite serious. Otherwise there wouldn't be a need to openly tell others what their thoughts are about. A mention of the habits of the trainers, they ALL have open conversations with themselves. Every, single, one of them. I suspect it's a form of hyponosis, to allow them to do their jobs better. While I go no qualms about getting results from a job, but when my trainer starts giggling to herself out of the blue. When she starts talking about things not related to work, with herself. I start to worry about the thin string of sanity that's holding her together.
Attraction
Yeah I admit, I'm abit of a psycho lover. I LOVE women with problems. It's obviously not because I like to take advantage of them. No proof to back that up however, so it's up for interpretation. I would like to admit that I'm quite a lover of problem solving. A problematic woman is like a flame and I would be a moth to that flame. That trainer of mine, has me running fantasies about solving her problems after only 3 hours of working with her. I knew right away that she's got problems, she's got enough problems to get me hooked onto her within 3 hours.
Problematic Women?!
Why the heck will a guy EVER want a problematic woman? I don't know, I guess every good boy's fantasy is a bad girl. The trainer has problems, sure, but she still talked about everything under the sun and some that the sun doesn't shine on either. I guess they are trained to do that. To attack thru the person's weakness, the very fact that she's bait serves dangerously to the attraction I had for her. I know that they use females as bait for guys, it's an easy enough plan. Guys are stupid creatures that follow their dicks more than their heads.
Do not be UNOFFENDED!
Guys out there, please take offense. Prove the me the fuck wrong about what I just said. Thinking with our pants is the very thing us guys are good at. The fact that some Gay men also think with their pants isn't a very encouraging sign either. Considering the fact that I didn't turn down the employment offer instantly and decided to spend my day with 2 cute and innocent ladies. It god damn means I thought with my pants instead of my brain. But damn it's going to be much easier to reject the offer tomorrow when I'm not face to face with them ladies.
Pussy on the Pedestal
Oh this phrase was first introduced to me by the show, "40 year old VIRGIN". I am one such man that puts pussies on the pedestal. And no, they aren't coming down anytime in my life. Respect the pussy my man, your mom gave birth to ya and she deserves to be on that pedestal. If you don't put your mom on that pedestal, you are in need of some serious life's lessons. It doesn't matter if you felt that your mom didn't treat you right. She gave birth to ya, instead of aborting ya. That act alone makes you owe her man. We all owe our mothers. Say you appreciate her or you might miss the chance if you keep waiting for the right moment.
Doing the "Right" Thing
In order to preserve my very identity and my sanity. I will do the very thing all companies hate in potential employees. I will call in tomorrow and tell them I'm not going back on Monday like I promised. I shall instead, continue looking for a job that does not have influences that will turn me into a mindless working zombie whose purpose in life is to make my superiors richer while torturing myself and telling myself it's all part of life.
Changes in my Life
Perhaps all jobs are like that in a way, but I have changed, I am no longer an extreme masochist and do not desire a lifetime of HELL on EARTH followed by true HELL afterwards. I already know I'm going to Hell, so I should do something that's more bareable so at least I don't feel like I'm in Hell while I'm still alive. Alauz Out.
Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow
Working
Sucks, truly, deeply and always the case. But that doesn't mean we can live without it. Anyways had an "Orientation" with a "marketing" company today. I won't disclose any names of the people or company involved as to protect my privacy. Who knows, they might start hunting me down and pester me until the moment I leave this earth.
Sucking
Oh yeah back to the orientation. It was a wonderful tour of a location I will now avoid to mention in the case where some of you are living there and saw me or the case where you passed by that area and saw me. In other words, you never saw me. Well, the tour would be wonderful enough, if there wasn't work to be done. This time, work was to gather donations from the people living in the above mentioned unmentionable location.
More Sucking
Guess what the job's all about? Direct Sales! You got it! OMG NO FREAKING WAY I WILL EVER, in my no matter short life will I EVER take a DIRECT SALES job EVER AGAIN! Well, enough with the shouting and screaming and raving. I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE THIS JOB'S DIRECT SALES! AGAIN! Fuck, I think direct sales is really hard to get out of my system. But I'm surprised at my tolerance level. I did not scream, shout, inflict bodily harm or rape any of the people involved with my orientation.
Interest NOT!
Well, I even managed to endure the WHOLE day, of helping along with direct sales and even make it back to the office at the end of the day. Which happened to be 6.30pm by the way. I cannot believe I even managed to act interested when the manager had a 2nd interview with me regarding joining the company full time. Then it occured to me, if I can take the punishment from this merciless orientation in this job. I can take all the bullshit in the world. And that my friend, was exactly what happened when the manager opened his mouth to attempt to brainwash my mind.
Behavioral modification
He touted that the company wants the right "attitude" from their staff. And he tells me that he joined the company 14 years ago and he's now a manager of this branch and he's earning a 5 digit salary. He said that the company molds the right "attitude" in people and sets them out with the "right" attitude to succeed in life. I knew at once, that this brainwashing center has gone ballistic on the youths that it has ensnared.
Innate Resistance
Of course like any self respecting writer and person who has manupilated people since I was in secondary school, I saw right thru this brainwashing technique. In essence this technique can be described as, "Making them think the way you want them to and making them think that they wanted it in the first place."
Brainwashing Jutsu
A constant user of this technique myself, I found the attempt truly amusing. I faked compliance and told him I would like to seek the correct "attitude" upon entering the company. (Yes I agreed to work for them verbally but never signed a contract of any sort) Little do they know, I'm going to screw them royally when I wake up tomorrow. The reason why I didn't screw him over right away there and then, I was absolutely smitten by this really kawaii trainer and her equally cute partner they had assigned me.
Taming of the Beast
They used the "Mei Ren Ji" in Chinese, translated to english would be using a beautiful bait for the hook. I decided to spend the day with 2 cute girls and the trainer's endless flirtations, visual eye candy and enjoyed the friendly banter that 2 cute girls can only provide. They are both younger than me, consider it a fresh meat bonus. I feasted upon the non-physical companionship today and had a really scary insight into the company.
Complete Obedience
They had brainwashed my trainer to the point she is most probably stuck in her current position for the next 3-4 years without her even realizing it. She has already been in her position for over 2 years and she's one of their best direct sales girl and she's STILL a trainer. For the lost, the trainer position is the very next position after you finish your trainee stage. "HOLY CRAP! They sure did a banged up job on her." I thought to myself when she said that.
Patience
I wanted to ask her why she isn't in a higher position, but I refrained from doing so because I knew I would only hit the "Brainwash Barrier" oh so common in the techniques used by these marketing companies. I really like her I thought to myself, I must be getting soft. By the way, lookswise, you normally wouldn't give these girls a second look. What made them cute to me, was their innocence and desire to help others. It helped that they weren't fat, but they looked good enough in their jeans and collared Tees.
Innocence
I am two years older than my trainer and she's like 3 years older than her partner. They are exactly the same age as my 2 younger brothers. I guess that also made me feel alot closer to them. The whole feeling I had today, was a feeling you would normally have with close siblings. Perhaps that's why I got soft. They purposely planned the two ladies that reflect my brothers' age to work on me.
Corporate Cruelty
I believe that the company will cruelly exploit every single young person they get their hands on. They will warp their minds to a point of no return and use those warped minds to warp others to their own. If it were just 1 year ago, I will not tolerate such actions and seek to destroy what I can. But I aged, wizened or just perhaps grew up a little. I will allow nature, no matter how twisted, to run its course. These companies exist only to ensnare the weak of will and mind. It is no surprise I was the only one with a diploma applying for the job.
Nature's Way
Survival of the best. It has always been nature's way of handling things. If those two poor innocent girls are misused, I will allow it. The experience will either destroy or strenghten their minds. What that will not destroy them, will only make them stronger. While my soul longs to rescue them from this exploitation, I tell myself that they will not understand even if I managed to get out.
Destruction of one's beliefs
Did I also mention they have "chants and cheers" together at the start and end of their day. The manager said that this is to encourage a positive mindset. I however have seen these rituals present in most cults and secret society meetings that aims to convert the souls of people to their form of worship. While this is disturbing my beyond a reason of a doubt, God has shown me that he allows such things to exist only so that these things may strengthen us. Why has he allowed my mind to remain intact after exposure to so much of these strong controlling influences otherwise?
Open Self Discussion
I believe that people who talk to themselves aren't crazy, but rather, are dealing with issue that are quite serious. Otherwise there wouldn't be a need to openly tell others what their thoughts are about. A mention of the habits of the trainers, they ALL have open conversations with themselves. Every, single, one of them. I suspect it's a form of hyponosis, to allow them to do their jobs better. While I go no qualms about getting results from a job, but when my trainer starts giggling to herself out of the blue. When she starts talking about things not related to work, with herself. I start to worry about the thin string of sanity that's holding her together.
Attraction
Yeah I admit, I'm abit of a psycho lover. I LOVE women with problems. It's obviously not because I like to take advantage of them. No proof to back that up however, so it's up for interpretation. I would like to admit that I'm quite a lover of problem solving. A problematic woman is like a flame and I would be a moth to that flame. That trainer of mine, has me running fantasies about solving her problems after only 3 hours of working with her. I knew right away that she's got problems, she's got enough problems to get me hooked onto her within 3 hours.
Problematic Women?!
Why the heck will a guy EVER want a problematic woman? I don't know, I guess every good boy's fantasy is a bad girl. The trainer has problems, sure, but she still talked about everything under the sun and some that the sun doesn't shine on either. I guess they are trained to do that. To attack thru the person's weakness, the very fact that she's bait serves dangerously to the attraction I had for her. I know that they use females as bait for guys, it's an easy enough plan. Guys are stupid creatures that follow their dicks more than their heads.
Do not be UNOFFENDED!
Guys out there, please take offense. Prove the me the fuck wrong about what I just said. Thinking with our pants is the very thing us guys are good at. The fact that some Gay men also think with their pants isn't a very encouraging sign either. Considering the fact that I didn't turn down the employment offer instantly and decided to spend my day with 2 cute and innocent ladies. It god damn means I thought with my pants instead of my brain. But damn it's going to be much easier to reject the offer tomorrow when I'm not face to face with them ladies.
Pussy on the Pedestal
Oh this phrase was first introduced to me by the show, "40 year old VIRGIN". I am one such man that puts pussies on the pedestal. And no, they aren't coming down anytime in my life. Respect the pussy my man, your mom gave birth to ya and she deserves to be on that pedestal. If you don't put your mom on that pedestal, you are in need of some serious life's lessons. It doesn't matter if you felt that your mom didn't treat you right. She gave birth to ya, instead of aborting ya. That act alone makes you owe her man. We all owe our mothers. Say you appreciate her or you might miss the chance if you keep waiting for the right moment.
Doing the "Right" Thing
In order to preserve my very identity and my sanity. I will do the very thing all companies hate in potential employees. I will call in tomorrow and tell them I'm not going back on Monday like I promised. I shall instead, continue looking for a job that does not have influences that will turn me into a mindless working zombie whose purpose in life is to make my superiors richer while torturing myself and telling myself it's all part of life.
Changes in my Life
Perhaps all jobs are like that in a way, but I have changed, I am no longer an extreme masochist and do not desire a lifetime of HELL on EARTH followed by true HELL afterwards. I already know I'm going to Hell, so I should do something that's more bareable so at least I don't feel like I'm in Hell while I'm still alive. Alauz Out.
Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Conversations
Divinity
Had alittle talk about the divine with one of the most unexpected sources today. My younger cousin, that's you Jasmine I know your reading this like I told you to. You bet I'm writing a little of what we talked about today. Or rather what I kept mouthing off about while she was all coy and listening. It all started when I asked her to call me because my handphone was deaders. I can't make out going calls anymore because I haven't paid my bill in 3 months. It's kind of unintentional, but that's another story.
The Calling
So she's on a nice little thing we call a "study break" but I like to call it "Let Loose Week". Then she calls me up and we started talking about how uncanny that I can still receive incoming calls and send sms even though my bill is left unpaid. We prattle on until suddenly she starts asking me to go to church. I implore you that this is only because she felt that it was kind of boring seeing only my younger brother at service.
The Decline
"Nope" I told her. Then she starts to ask me why and starts saying I should just come down to church and promised that it'd be fun. Well, uncompromisingly I decided to tell her that it's a long story. But she said, "I've got the time", thus it all started. We started talking about my reluctance to churches and why I feel that I feel betrayed when I go to church. I started with the hypocrisy that I had experienced in some churches I've visited in the past. And went on to say how the break up with one of my ex made me fear going back to churches again.
The Fear of Compromise
I have this fear that to control the people, the church has changed some of it's original scriptures to make them more appealing to the masses. If I'm not wrong, this is done on a regular basis by the catholic church by a special committee charged with making changes to their canon laws, rules and regulations. I strongly believe that if it is anything to do with religon, there cannot be any compromise.
Compromise Negative
By compromising what we believe in, how can we still be sure what we believe in is the absolute truth? If there is going to be an absolute truth in our world, it has to be religion right? It is what we fall back on when our beliefs are tested, when we need to make a judgement on morality. But what if what we thought was carved in stone, ISN'T? Wouldn't that shatter the millions or billions of lives that depend on it? According to Man, religion is a lifestyle, something we hold in high regard because we'd be following the word of GOD.
Compromise Positive
But when the things we believe in, change almost yearly. How can you expect me to believe in a religion like that? It'd be like betraying GOD on a yearly basis. And you cannot expect me to compromise on something that's going to be the CORE of my beliefs? Can you compromise what's RIGHT or WRONG? Can you compromise if you had to question your beliefs everytime someone comes up with another "Da Vinci Code"? That is not religion to me, religion to me means that if GOD will punish the wicked and reward the good. He MEANS it.
Despicable Man
And the despicable MAN, tries to GOAD people into their religions, committing sins while covering it up using lies and deception. Saying that if you sin in "THIS Particular way", it's not considered a SIN. Now now, your saying contraception is not a sin? But isn't against the will of the lord to withhold life? You say abortion is not a sin. But isn't it killing an unborn child? SURE it will make life EASIER for the people involved. But is it RIGHT? In the lord's eyes, he can tell for sure if we were right or wrong. But what I cannot accept is, the fact that WE cannot accept what's RIGHT or WRONG.
Personal Views
My personal views are one of obviously biased, Neutrality. If mankind wants to go to hell when our time is up, so be it. God did not send me down to educate people on what is right or wrong. God sent me down here to live my life among man, helping those who cannot help themselves. To help others, does not mean I have to commit sin. To help others, does not mean I help others to a point that I become the very thing I sought to help. You cannot become a helpless if you seek to help.
Survival of the Helpful
If you really want to help the world, seek first to ensure you do not need help with anything. Like Jesus said, "To remove the sand in another man's eye, first remove the LOG in your own." If you are quick to JUDGE others, be quicker still to JUDGE yourself. Follow the golden rule, DO UNTO OTHERS, WHAT YOU WANT OTHERS TO DO UNTO YOU. If you like others to be concerned about you, you will first have to be concerned about others. Even if the whole world thinks otherwise, do not falter. For if you do, then you will be the very thing that you sought to help in the first place.
Words to the Helpless
The Lord has one thing he constantly say to mankind. "Give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. Teach man how to fish, you feed him for a lifetime." There's only one flaw in man's interpretation of the Lord's words. Teaching a man to fish is one thing, teaching a man to fish for himself is another. I maybe here to educated who I can, does that mean my responsibilities end at merely teaching what's right? NO, I also have to ensure that what I teach is practiced. If merely disseminating knowledge, I have done NOTHING. To truly receive GOD's blessing, you must also DO what is right.
Ignorance
Ignorance is said to be man's greatest sin. We blame everything on ignorance. In not knowing what is RIGHT and WRONG, Adam knew not what was SIN and what was NOT. GOD decided that since Adam doesn't know what is right or wrong, he will take it up to his greatest creation, his right hand archangel, Lucifer to help in the education of mankind. He gave Lucifer a domain of his own and charged him with giving "Knowledge" to Adam. Lucifer did it by enticing Eve and making Adam eat from the tree of "Knowledge".
Difference between Orthodox and Enlightened
IF you are a traditional Catholic, Christian or a follower of any orthodox religion. You will now tell me that "Knowledge" is EVIL because Lucifer was the one who told Adam and Eve to devour it. It is TECHNICALLY better for all Mankind have no "Knowledge" because it is the root of our banishment here to earth. So how can Ignorance be man's greatest SIN? Without knowledge, isn't ignorance all that is left?
Judgement
But it is said in the bible that GOD punished Ignorance just like any other SIN. Thus the weavers of the bible is caught in a bit of a lie. I believe the bible is not complete and many parts of it were changed to fit Man's Ambition. I believe GOD wanted man to have knowledge and sent his greatest angel, Man wanted to rule other Man thru the LACK of knowledge, thus putting "Knowledge" in evil light by demonizing the bringer of Knowledge.
Truly Evil
What is truly more evil? The Devil is supposed to PUNISH the Wicked. If the Devil was truly evil and free from GOD's control, then WHY PUNISH the Wicked? He should be rewarding them with unimaginable pleasure. Thus an easy conclusion to his true nature, he is still an Angel of God. As much as you hate to admit it, you will truly hate the Angel of Death. It is a thankless job, it truly is. Who venerates an Angel that brings death? Thus we Demonize the angel. Making the Angel of death EVIL and BAD just because he seeks to bring all GOD's creature back to their maker for Judgement. There's nothing more truly evil than the true nature of some MEN.
Wrong or Right?
So what now? You know that the Devil tempts us to do evil deeds, he only does so to ferret out the TRULY worthy to enter Heaven and the those who AREN'T worthy but only pretend to be because they don't want to face Judgement. Only a coward will blame the Devil for his temptation, for he has already lost the battle to remain pure in his soul. Those who truly believe will never blame the Devil for tempting them, infact they will appreciate his temptation because he has shown them their true nature. Fear the Devil they say, I say no, fear yourself. You are your own greatest enemy, the Devil is merely there to test you. It's his Job.
Opinionated
I admit I'm extremely biased and judgemental, I'm definately going to hell for the sinful things I've done in the past. I'm not saying that if I help others understand what GOD truly wants from them, then I get to go to heaven. I'm doing this only because I feel is the right thing to do. It doesn't matter that I'm going to hell for punishment, I deserve it. I fear more however, is going to heaven to face GOD's Judgement instead of going to hell. Like I said, I'm a GOD fearing man. There's nothing more powerful or scary than an almighty GOD. I mean NOTHING. Alauz Out.
Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow
Divinity
Had alittle talk about the divine with one of the most unexpected sources today. My younger cousin, that's you Jasmine I know your reading this like I told you to. You bet I'm writing a little of what we talked about today. Or rather what I kept mouthing off about while she was all coy and listening. It all started when I asked her to call me because my handphone was deaders. I can't make out going calls anymore because I haven't paid my bill in 3 months. It's kind of unintentional, but that's another story.
The Calling
So she's on a nice little thing we call a "study break" but I like to call it "Let Loose Week". Then she calls me up and we started talking about how uncanny that I can still receive incoming calls and send sms even though my bill is left unpaid. We prattle on until suddenly she starts asking me to go to church. I implore you that this is only because she felt that it was kind of boring seeing only my younger brother at service.
The Decline
"Nope" I told her. Then she starts to ask me why and starts saying I should just come down to church and promised that it'd be fun. Well, uncompromisingly I decided to tell her that it's a long story. But she said, "I've got the time", thus it all started. We started talking about my reluctance to churches and why I feel that I feel betrayed when I go to church. I started with the hypocrisy that I had experienced in some churches I've visited in the past. And went on to say how the break up with one of my ex made me fear going back to churches again.
The Fear of Compromise
I have this fear that to control the people, the church has changed some of it's original scriptures to make them more appealing to the masses. If I'm not wrong, this is done on a regular basis by the catholic church by a special committee charged with making changes to their canon laws, rules and regulations. I strongly believe that if it is anything to do with religon, there cannot be any compromise.
Compromise Negative
By compromising what we believe in, how can we still be sure what we believe in is the absolute truth? If there is going to be an absolute truth in our world, it has to be religion right? It is what we fall back on when our beliefs are tested, when we need to make a judgement on morality. But what if what we thought was carved in stone, ISN'T? Wouldn't that shatter the millions or billions of lives that depend on it? According to Man, religion is a lifestyle, something we hold in high regard because we'd be following the word of GOD.
Compromise Positive
But when the things we believe in, change almost yearly. How can you expect me to believe in a religion like that? It'd be like betraying GOD on a yearly basis. And you cannot expect me to compromise on something that's going to be the CORE of my beliefs? Can you compromise what's RIGHT or WRONG? Can you compromise if you had to question your beliefs everytime someone comes up with another "Da Vinci Code"? That is not religion to me, religion to me means that if GOD will punish the wicked and reward the good. He MEANS it.
Despicable Man
And the despicable MAN, tries to GOAD people into their religions, committing sins while covering it up using lies and deception. Saying that if you sin in "THIS Particular way", it's not considered a SIN. Now now, your saying contraception is not a sin? But isn't against the will of the lord to withhold life? You say abortion is not a sin. But isn't it killing an unborn child? SURE it will make life EASIER for the people involved. But is it RIGHT? In the lord's eyes, he can tell for sure if we were right or wrong. But what I cannot accept is, the fact that WE cannot accept what's RIGHT or WRONG.
Personal Views
My personal views are one of obviously biased, Neutrality. If mankind wants to go to hell when our time is up, so be it. God did not send me down to educate people on what is right or wrong. God sent me down here to live my life among man, helping those who cannot help themselves. To help others, does not mean I have to commit sin. To help others, does not mean I help others to a point that I become the very thing I sought to help. You cannot become a helpless if you seek to help.
Survival of the Helpful
If you really want to help the world, seek first to ensure you do not need help with anything. Like Jesus said, "To remove the sand in another man's eye, first remove the LOG in your own." If you are quick to JUDGE others, be quicker still to JUDGE yourself. Follow the golden rule, DO UNTO OTHERS, WHAT YOU WANT OTHERS TO DO UNTO YOU. If you like others to be concerned about you, you will first have to be concerned about others. Even if the whole world thinks otherwise, do not falter. For if you do, then you will be the very thing that you sought to help in the first place.
Words to the Helpless
The Lord has one thing he constantly say to mankind. "Give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. Teach man how to fish, you feed him for a lifetime." There's only one flaw in man's interpretation of the Lord's words. Teaching a man to fish is one thing, teaching a man to fish for himself is another. I maybe here to educated who I can, does that mean my responsibilities end at merely teaching what's right? NO, I also have to ensure that what I teach is practiced. If merely disseminating knowledge, I have done NOTHING. To truly receive GOD's blessing, you must also DO what is right.
Ignorance
Ignorance is said to be man's greatest sin. We blame everything on ignorance. In not knowing what is RIGHT and WRONG, Adam knew not what was SIN and what was NOT. GOD decided that since Adam doesn't know what is right or wrong, he will take it up to his greatest creation, his right hand archangel, Lucifer to help in the education of mankind. He gave Lucifer a domain of his own and charged him with giving "Knowledge" to Adam. Lucifer did it by enticing Eve and making Adam eat from the tree of "Knowledge".
Difference between Orthodox and Enlightened
IF you are a traditional Catholic, Christian or a follower of any orthodox religion. You will now tell me that "Knowledge" is EVIL because Lucifer was the one who told Adam and Eve to devour it. It is TECHNICALLY better for all Mankind have no "Knowledge" because it is the root of our banishment here to earth. So how can Ignorance be man's greatest SIN? Without knowledge, isn't ignorance all that is left?
Judgement
But it is said in the bible that GOD punished Ignorance just like any other SIN. Thus the weavers of the bible is caught in a bit of a lie. I believe the bible is not complete and many parts of it were changed to fit Man's Ambition. I believe GOD wanted man to have knowledge and sent his greatest angel, Man wanted to rule other Man thru the LACK of knowledge, thus putting "Knowledge" in evil light by demonizing the bringer of Knowledge.
Truly Evil
What is truly more evil? The Devil is supposed to PUNISH the Wicked. If the Devil was truly evil and free from GOD's control, then WHY PUNISH the Wicked? He should be rewarding them with unimaginable pleasure. Thus an easy conclusion to his true nature, he is still an Angel of God. As much as you hate to admit it, you will truly hate the Angel of Death. It is a thankless job, it truly is. Who venerates an Angel that brings death? Thus we Demonize the angel. Making the Angel of death EVIL and BAD just because he seeks to bring all GOD's creature back to their maker for Judgement. There's nothing more truly evil than the true nature of some MEN.
Wrong or Right?
So what now? You know that the Devil tempts us to do evil deeds, he only does so to ferret out the TRULY worthy to enter Heaven and the those who AREN'T worthy but only pretend to be because they don't want to face Judgement. Only a coward will blame the Devil for his temptation, for he has already lost the battle to remain pure in his soul. Those who truly believe will never blame the Devil for tempting them, infact they will appreciate his temptation because he has shown them their true nature. Fear the Devil they say, I say no, fear yourself. You are your own greatest enemy, the Devil is merely there to test you. It's his Job.
Opinionated
I admit I'm extremely biased and judgemental, I'm definately going to hell for the sinful things I've done in the past. I'm not saying that if I help others understand what GOD truly wants from them, then I get to go to heaven. I'm doing this only because I feel is the right thing to do. It doesn't matter that I'm going to hell for punishment, I deserve it. I fear more however, is going to heaven to face GOD's Judgement instead of going to hell. Like I said, I'm a GOD fearing man. There's nothing more powerful or scary than an almighty GOD. I mean NOTHING. Alauz Out.
Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Rejected
No Surprise
Yeap, I was rejected for the application at HBO. But hey, it's but one of the many jobs I got rejected for. I missed yesterday's blogging because I was too preoccupied trying to get more resumes sent and look for new opportunities with regards to jobs.
New Direction
Well with that over and done with. I've started on a new direction on what kind of jobs I'm willing to accept. But I've also decided to accept a job that's outside of the media industry. I know it's kind of weird wanting to go into the media industry when I'm so obviously under-qualified. But I guess my academic qualification is merely part of my total experiences.
Forge
And I'm going to continue forging ahead with my mind sharped and constantly re-molded for the different types of challenges I'm going to be facing. My forge is heated and ready to shape the words I will use for this war called life. May we never give up hope for it is all we truly have. Alauz Out.
Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow
No Surprise
Yeap, I was rejected for the application at HBO. But hey, it's but one of the many jobs I got rejected for. I missed yesterday's blogging because I was too preoccupied trying to get more resumes sent and look for new opportunities with regards to jobs.
New Direction
Well with that over and done with. I've started on a new direction on what kind of jobs I'm willing to accept. But I've also decided to accept a job that's outside of the media industry. I know it's kind of weird wanting to go into the media industry when I'm so obviously under-qualified. But I guess my academic qualification is merely part of my total experiences.
Forge
And I'm going to continue forging ahead with my mind sharped and constantly re-molded for the different types of challenges I'm going to be facing. My forge is heated and ready to shape the words I will use for this war called life. May we never give up hope for it is all we truly have. Alauz Out.
Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow
Sunday, August 27, 2006
The Sacred Weekends
Taboo
Do you know why I normally don't write on the weekends? I believe in something called alone time. But seriously speaking, since this is a site where I safely assume I'd be the only guy reading my own blog. I guess I can break this taboo of writing alittle about my weekend.
Sunday
So the sacred start of the week is upon us. My dad flew in from Indonesia just last night. I feel like it's been 2 months since I last saw him, but I know better and it's only been a month. But it seems so much of my life has changed over the course of the last 1 month. Instead I felt like perhaps I've gone thru half a year's worth of experience in such a short time. My visions ain't helping either.
Concept of Time
Perhaps it's the visions that make me feel like time is being stretched. My conciousness is slowly expanding to accomodate the dreams and my life. The expanded conciousness literally moves between the future and the present constantly. I mean I've been having waking visions, yeah it started on Friday and it's just been making feel this warped sense of time. In essence, I view a vision that's, let's say 15 mins of time. But in reality, it only takes but 15 seconds. Perhaps that's to blame, perhaps not.
Visionmania
Lots of visions this weekend, my brother also proclaimed to me he's had a weird dream where he actually remembered some of the details really clearly. For my brother, it's a big thing because it's his first time he's had such clarity. Perhaps it's our blood, but I'd have to say I had a vision of him telling me that about 15 mins before it happened, or was it 15 seconds before he started talking? Time works in such mysterious ways.
Blood Seers
Perhaps that's the term I'd call myself and my family. It's not every member that'd have this unusual ability, it seems it's rather selective. But it definately seems to skip certain siblings. Truthfully speaking, one of my dad's brothers passed away when I was in Poly, he seemed "disturbed" according to my father and his family. Perhaps he was experiencing what I'm going thru right now and reality and the visions were no longer distinguishable from one another. A frightening thought to be sure.
The Bloodline
My dad said he also had such visions when he was younger. But it faded in his twenties. My dad's younger brother however was in his thirties and he still seemed to have visions. You see, there's a pattern I spotted. My dad is of 7 siblings. My father is the 2nd of 4 brothers and 3rd child in the family. My uncle who passed away was the youngest of them all. I suspect the eldest sibling who is also the eldest brother, has the same abilities when he was younger. But of course that's just assumption. But if that's true, then the pattern would be alternate siblings, specifically the odd numbered males seems to have outward symptoms of this affliction.
Curse of Sight
Perhaps it's a gift bred into the blood for some purpose of survival in the past. There are many families from different cultures with special abilities, some have the ability of bodily constitution, some have great strength, some like the wolfmen of mexico are born with hair around their bodies like ancient humans. Perhaps my family's way of survival was precognition. Perhaps if you've been a follower of the Three Kingdoms Era, I am a direct decendant of the family line that spawned Zhen Luo who was Cao Cao's daughter in law or more specifically, Cao Pi's wife.
Question of Survival
Perhaps the ability had already been developed then, perhaps after that time. But I suppose this sight allows of us to make decisions based on the near future, perhaps that's what kept people alive back then. Who knows, maybe Cao Pi had advice from his wife regarding how to end the war.
Short History Lesson
For those of you who don't know that piece of history, Cao Cao died before China was united under one banner, instead it was Cao Pi who finished the war. If you don't know the devastation of the war, it costed China roughly 70% of it's population fighting the war of the Three Kingdoms. So I guess foresight of any sort would be invaluable advantage in war. But after all that digging, I'd say this is all speculation. Noone alive truly knows if there's any truth in what I deduced.
Troubling thoughts
Perhaps my young uncle was unable to control his ability and had alot of problems communicating what he saw to the people around him. Nobody was willing to help him, my dad for one was kind of afraid of talking to him. I wonder why sometimes. Perhaps there's a sense of realization of the curse of our blood runs stronger in my uncle than any of their siblings? Or because my uncle had episodes where his speech is alittle abnormal. A couple of months before he passed away, he spent some time with my family thus giving me a chance to look at his condition.
Experiences
He would be rather quiet around the house, he smoked alot. And he asked alot of questions while speaking. Asking us about what we thought about the universe and stuff. I guess I'm pretty much like him in terms of curiousity. He was perpetually sad though, it seemed that he had a troubled cloud over him everyday. Then again I think in my generation, I'm fated to be the one where the blood runs strong again. I only hope my visions don't destroy my soul like it seemed to do to my uncle. Alauz Out.
Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow
Taboo
Do you know why I normally don't write on the weekends? I believe in something called alone time. But seriously speaking, since this is a site where I safely assume I'd be the only guy reading my own blog. I guess I can break this taboo of writing alittle about my weekend.
Sunday
So the sacred start of the week is upon us. My dad flew in from Indonesia just last night. I feel like it's been 2 months since I last saw him, but I know better and it's only been a month. But it seems so much of my life has changed over the course of the last 1 month. Instead I felt like perhaps I've gone thru half a year's worth of experience in such a short time. My visions ain't helping either.
Concept of Time
Perhaps it's the visions that make me feel like time is being stretched. My conciousness is slowly expanding to accomodate the dreams and my life. The expanded conciousness literally moves between the future and the present constantly. I mean I've been having waking visions, yeah it started on Friday and it's just been making feel this warped sense of time. In essence, I view a vision that's, let's say 15 mins of time. But in reality, it only takes but 15 seconds. Perhaps that's to blame, perhaps not.
Visionmania
Lots of visions this weekend, my brother also proclaimed to me he's had a weird dream where he actually remembered some of the details really clearly. For my brother, it's a big thing because it's his first time he's had such clarity. Perhaps it's our blood, but I'd have to say I had a vision of him telling me that about 15 mins before it happened, or was it 15 seconds before he started talking? Time works in such mysterious ways.
Blood Seers
Perhaps that's the term I'd call myself and my family. It's not every member that'd have this unusual ability, it seems it's rather selective. But it definately seems to skip certain siblings. Truthfully speaking, one of my dad's brothers passed away when I was in Poly, he seemed "disturbed" according to my father and his family. Perhaps he was experiencing what I'm going thru right now and reality and the visions were no longer distinguishable from one another. A frightening thought to be sure.
The Bloodline
My dad said he also had such visions when he was younger. But it faded in his twenties. My dad's younger brother however was in his thirties and he still seemed to have visions. You see, there's a pattern I spotted. My dad is of 7 siblings. My father is the 2nd of 4 brothers and 3rd child in the family. My uncle who passed away was the youngest of them all. I suspect the eldest sibling who is also the eldest brother, has the same abilities when he was younger. But of course that's just assumption. But if that's true, then the pattern would be alternate siblings, specifically the odd numbered males seems to have outward symptoms of this affliction.
Curse of Sight
Perhaps it's a gift bred into the blood for some purpose of survival in the past. There are many families from different cultures with special abilities, some have the ability of bodily constitution, some have great strength, some like the wolfmen of mexico are born with hair around their bodies like ancient humans. Perhaps my family's way of survival was precognition. Perhaps if you've been a follower of the Three Kingdoms Era, I am a direct decendant of the family line that spawned Zhen Luo who was Cao Cao's daughter in law or more specifically, Cao Pi's wife.
Question of Survival
Perhaps the ability had already been developed then, perhaps after that time. But I suppose this sight allows of us to make decisions based on the near future, perhaps that's what kept people alive back then. Who knows, maybe Cao Pi had advice from his wife regarding how to end the war.
Short History Lesson
For those of you who don't know that piece of history, Cao Cao died before China was united under one banner, instead it was Cao Pi who finished the war. If you don't know the devastation of the war, it costed China roughly 70% of it's population fighting the war of the Three Kingdoms. So I guess foresight of any sort would be invaluable advantage in war. But after all that digging, I'd say this is all speculation. Noone alive truly knows if there's any truth in what I deduced.
Troubling thoughts
Perhaps my young uncle was unable to control his ability and had alot of problems communicating what he saw to the people around him. Nobody was willing to help him, my dad for one was kind of afraid of talking to him. I wonder why sometimes. Perhaps there's a sense of realization of the curse of our blood runs stronger in my uncle than any of their siblings? Or because my uncle had episodes where his speech is alittle abnormal. A couple of months before he passed away, he spent some time with my family thus giving me a chance to look at his condition.
Experiences
He would be rather quiet around the house, he smoked alot. And he asked alot of questions while speaking. Asking us about what we thought about the universe and stuff. I guess I'm pretty much like him in terms of curiousity. He was perpetually sad though, it seemed that he had a troubled cloud over him everyday. Then again I think in my generation, I'm fated to be the one where the blood runs strong again. I only hope my visions don't destroy my soul like it seemed to do to my uncle. Alauz Out.
Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow
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