My New "Car"

Car = PC box
I know it sounds lame, cheesy and really really silly. But I often take pride in my desktop computer. So much so that it's like a status symbol. Infact, it is a status symbol, among the geeks that is. And among geeks who are also aware of the "racing scene from Need for Speed: Underground" We sometimes even proudly name our PC boxes after the cars we've seen in that series.

What's IT'S Name?
So what did I name my Box? It used to be this antique tower casing about 8 years old, with the higher end of the mid range parts stocked into it's "engine" So I named it the "AE86" from the popular "Initial D" Series. Well, now since I've upgraded the tower to one that looks much more kick ass, it's gotten a nickname from the kind fellow that introduced the Box to me. It's now the "Mazda RX7" The picture you see above would be the new Box. The old Box cannot be seen with human eyes, lest they be blinded by how I could use such an atrocity to house the latest Pentium Chips.
Medical Shit
Oh yeah went for my check up for a weight management program I took up about 6 months ago. Guess what? Since then I lost 12 kg, with only advice and exercise recommendations from them. Sure you say I could have lost more weight. But this weight loss is kinda different. This program really changed my lifestyle, I not only move around more, but I also changed my eating habits and stuff. So it's totally maintainable. And that's the key to avoid the yo-yo diet or regime.

More Medical Shit
Oh yeah and there's a sore on my neck for the past month that's been growing alittle more everyday. It's getting to a stage where it's very noticable now. Have to go to the doctor's tomorrow to see what the heck is it. Thought it was just a fungal or bacterial infection. Got over the counter medicine, didn't work. Great, more medical bills. Only hope it's not something serious where I have to go for an operation or anything. And NO, it's not an STD for sure. Haven't had sex in over 3 years. If it was an STD, it'd have happen way sooner.

Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow

Repercussions

No free Lunch/Dinner
Ugh... *Almost Pukes*
There's no such thing as a free lunch or dinner I guess. I woke up nauseous as hell today. Really crappy feeling. Reported sick to my supervisor and agent, then went to see a doctor. Doctor confirms food poisoning and prescribes some medicine and a day of rest.

Karma
Perhaps the words I posted upon the blog didn't go too well with my late relative. This perhaps is a sort of karma to my actions. Perhaps it's well deserved because I have all sorts of mannerisms that require alot of fine tuning before I'm the perfect human in terms of politeness. But don't let that get you guys down, I'm sure you guys aren't affected by karma at all. It's just me and my incessant mouthing off.

Rest
I hope it's going to be a quiet day. The doctor told me to eat porridge and no spicy, sour, oily or heavy food. Means it's just plain porridge or egg porridge with no pepper. Perhaps some salt. But definately no spicy preserved beancurds, sour pickles or the stuff like that. My tummy so upside down right now I think that it's emptying my stomach contents into my throat. Disgusting mental imagery for your imaginative minds. Going to do what sick people do now, Ugh. Alauz Out.

Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow

Dinner on a Sunday

Din Din
That's what I call dinner in my so called "affectionate mode". Anyways had dinner with my extended family. Why? Because the dinner's free. Why? Because one of my late relatives' associate just had a heart bypass and decided that she wanted to wind up her business by next week. So what better way to wind up a business other than treating your associate's family?

Complication
I seem to have a complicated family tree. Yes it's complicated and relations can get rather confusing. But they are nice people overall, no doubt they can be rather gossip ridden. Anyways, if you didn't understand how I got a free dinner on Sunday evening. Well your not the only one being miffed. I'm rather confused but still pleasantly surprised by the turn of events. On one hand I wish the best to the woman who treated us. And the other hand, I don't know what to say about human generousity at the face of death.


Family Portraits
So I had some pictures taken with my cousin. This is the one I'm closer with. I send her wacky poems and bloody irritating questions every now and then. Share my zany thoughts and she let me in on some of her aspirations. Well as for her name? Jasmine. Surname? I don't think I'd divulge that information for fear of internet stalkers who have a penchant for raping and killing their victims. Who knows if they go around reading people's blogs to look for their next target.


Other Family
The picture above shows the people I ate the dinner with. Starting from the left is my younger brother in the middle of my siblings, the one on the middle left is my cousin Jasmine. The woman in the middle right is my mom, she sets my unreasonably high standards in women unfortunately. And the guy on the right is my cousin that appeared on Cleo magazine, Benjamin Tan. Opps! I just revealed their surnames.... Doh! Oh well. I pray for the stalker's safety if they decide to stalk him for their endeavours. He's in the NDU if you don't remember. Anyways I got to go to bed now. Enjoy the pics! Alauz Out!

Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow

Possible Change of Address

Decisions
I've got a decision to make. I have 3 options for this coming choice, first one is to move my blog from this address to the one at friendster. For one, the friendster blogs will never be read except by my friends and potential stalkers. Secondly I can don't move there and maintain my link to nothingness over here. Lastly, I could just maintain both. With my current commitment level, I believe that if I pick the last option, I'd end up not updating all of my blogs. But let's see how it goes.

Love and Emptiness
I love emptiness, it's so Zen. Alauz Out.

Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow

Nokia N70

New stuff
Oh yeah, new phone with a camera. Finally have one with one, thus your gonna see a few pics I've taken with it since I got it on Sunday evening. The one your about to see is the one I took right off the bat. Quality doesn't look too shabby, however a 2.0 megapixel camera leaves alot to be desired especially if your trying to take a picture at a distance.

Morning Zombie
Oh yeah the morning zombie, standard look when waking up in the morning. I have the most sleepy eyed doggy look when I get out of bed in the morning. I am still trying to see if I can use my handphone as a webcam to directly connect with my PC. If so, a 2.0 megapixel webcam would beat most low to medium cost webcams anyways. But for now, I'm more tired than a doggy that has passed away. So I've got to pospone it to a more fitting time.

Less interesting stuff
I took the phone to work today and surprised my colleague. Her name is private and she has an exceedingly high skill in dodging any face front camera shot. I have to concede this delightful back shot to show you the unsuccessful results of my not so epic endeavours to eventually have a catalogue of my working colleagues in SPH.

Regular stuff
I'd be uploading videos to Youtube and linking them here if I ever find time to make myself one while at my workplace. Maybe a 15-20 second shot in the morning, blending into a 15-20 second shot during lunch and another 15-20 second shot mixed when it's time to leave the locality. It's simple to shoot but it's more of a mood thing rather than a to-do thing. So whim wins again! Yay!

Irregular stuffage
On other notes, I'm currently planning something for my friend whose lunar B'day is on the 6th of October. Yes, she's born on the autumn festival in lunar terms. And if you can guess, she's from China duh! Only the chinese would celebrate their lunar B'days I guesses. I actually calculated mine as well and it was a month before my actual B'day. Anyways she's gone thru enough lantern festivals and standard B'day stuff. Really tough thinking of a good thing to do. Well it's coming soon and my brain juices are dry. Any good suggestions please drop me an sms at 98779669. Yeah I know I shouldn't leave my phone number on the web again. Just can't help it you know? Hehe. Alauz Out.
Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow.

Techno Relevations

Random Happenings
Oh I received a weird call yesterday, if your reading my blog, don't stalk me kay? I can't have a stalker, I'm just not the type to be stalked. And no I do not want to talk about it, not alot anyways. But seriously I think I've made a big mistake by putting my handphone number up on the net, seriously thinking about removing it and changing my number. Heck, hopefully you'd still see me around the days to come.

Other Randomness
Oh yeah I have to thank E for putting techno back into my life. For the past few years after my experience working at Seoul Garden's "vibrant" night life, I thought I had sworn off techno for the rest of my natural life. But somehow someone made a song about Dota and an IRC bot named Anna. Suddenly when I listen to those techno, it soothes my soul that modern techno culture suddenly seemed to accept me into the folds.

Steps into Darkness
My first steps along to independence has gained me a heavy burden. Bills and repayments of my Poly education. But I just told my Dad my future plans to work for a year before I go and study. Surprisingly he seemed pretty pleased at my decision and choice of education. But he did give me several warnings, no love and serious relationships while I'm on this path, at least until I finish my degree.

On the Heart
With that out of the way, I'm sorry to say I'm going to take a raincheck with my heart for these couple of years. Soft as it is on the inside, I take my promises with my Dad like I treasure my soul. I know the implications and the holes this promise might tear into my heart but hey, I aspire to be a man of my word. Making a promise means keeping it, so I try not to give them freely away. Covert my heart oh Lord, keep it warm in your embrace, for I shall have nothing when the time comes.

Slavery
Oh things of my job, I'm sure you guys aren't interested so I'd just talk about it in this paragraph. I'm working QC, with horrendeous pay. But I've made a few good contacts and I've opened the door to future writing careers by opening up the internal recruitment within SPH. Yes, I'm working for SPH and no I'm not a writer yet. But I'm going to be there, no qualms about it. The harder I work, the smarter I play the moves and the more moves open for my next step. The trick now is to see which move can secure my long term goals. Alauz Out.

Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow

Beginnings

Trappings
What does the word trappings mean? I guess it means the appearance of something, because that's the only thing that's coming to mind. So I've donned the trappings of slavery because I've just chained myself to a company by working for them. Thus my time as society's "forever slave" has started. I shall be working forever and ever until the day that I die. Not that it's not a good thing mind you. But I would rather not work just for society and instead, I would love to work for the sake of humanity.

Slavery vs Capitalism
What drives a person more? The fear of death? Or the greed for more? It's hard to say, both rank just as highly in us humans. As for me, obviously the fear of death ranks higher than anything. Greed for more can simply be overcomed by the snapping jaws of death gaping infront of me. If a person cannot decide whether you give up his wealth or die a horribly painful, excrutiating, long and drawn out death like cancer or AIDs because of being unable to give up his vices. I believe that person is definately a greedy one.

Support
So what am I saying? Slavery is more effective than Capitalism? Yes, if you talking about maximizing profits, then slavery is the best business model. What other business model can minimize labor costs as much as slavery? Thus with this knowledge in hand, slavery is enacted in many ways in current day society. You don't see it? Then you obviously aren't attuned to what is the nature of slavery.

Slavery
Slavery is the chaining of people, with physical means or non-physical means. Yes, I'm saying there's mental slavery. Do you believe the slaves Moses led out into the Desert had chains around their feet? No, the Eyptians had made them slaves with the mere fact that they cannot run away fast enough before they are hunted down and killed for sport by the Egyptians. Thus mental slavery is far more cruel and effective than any other form of slavery, and it is the most common form of modern day slavery known to but a select minority still living on this planet.

Open your mind
Opening of your horizons are in order. There is no such thing as freedom. Repeat after me, there's no such thing as freedom. Okay now that it's out of the way, let me explain why. Every single country in this world, enacts slavery of their people thru something called "Patriotism". If you feel the need to die for your country, your country has already enslaved you in a certain level of slavery. Yes, there's different levels of slavery. Every level of slavery makes a person perform similarly degrading acts according to the level of slavery.

Levels of Hell.... opps I meant Slavery
First level of slavery hinders you from betraying or selling out your country. It's called Patriotism. This forever chains you to your country and prevents you from become a citizen of another country. It's the lowest level of slavery and the easiest to break free. This level of slavery is enforced differently by different countries, some entice others to join them while others kill the ones that desert them.

Second
Second level of slavery stops you from chasing your dreams and hopes. It's called Debt or Financial Slavery. You keep hearing those rich biatches talking about getting financial freedom? Now you know which form of slavery their trying to escape from. By chaining people with debt like taxes, morgages and credit cards. It forces people to stop chasing their dreams of doing a job that they love and relegate them to doing a job that pays well, but drains the lifeblood out of them because they hate it like fuck. Everyday of work is living hell, but they gotta do it or they are going to be in debt and their life would be a living hell anyways.

Third
Third level of hell... Opps I mean slavery, is intellectual slavery. The education system that teaches people to fear change of a new environment, changes to their culture, is to be feared. Foreigners are evil and will steal their jobs. This is a form of intellectual slavery that will chain people forever on their native soil by breeding fear so deep that you will quite literally die from the culture shock you will surely receive after being brainwashed so completely. A perfect example of this if you don't want to believe this is North Korea. No offense North Korea on your methods of keeping your countrymen on native soil via this form of slavery. Well, not that many of them know that they are slaves anyways. Well then again maybe they do know.... look at the number of North Korean fugitives.

Fourth
The fourth form of slavery is physical slavery. It seems simple enough of a slavery method, but it's in the fourth place because unlike the first 3 forms of slavery, it is a method where by people cannot physically leave their slavers until they are free from their physical barriers. This is a highly efficient in retaining slaves just for the sake of retaining them. Death may occur at the most inopportune timing. Life's a Biatch.

Fifth
Fifth form of slavery is guilt slavery. It's not mental slavery yet, it's not as strong as to control your whole mind for all of your natural life. Some people may overcome this on their own but it will usually end upon death of the person. So slavery by guilt comes when the people feel guilty for causing a death of a person and feel indebted to stay and work for country/organization/person for as long as they live. This is similar to the "lifedebt" common in many ancient civilizations. It's hard to overcome this one even if you wanted to.

Sixth
Mental anguish or mental slavery is the sixth. It's the knowledge of the very fact of you escaping, means a swift death that none has escape so far. This is classic in the keeping of the slaves of Egypt even before Moses' time. If you do not understand what I mean, here's an example. Imagine your a slave with no chains, your friend tries to escape and you help him go. You don't see him for a few days and when you think he's made it, then the Egyptians stick his head on a pike infront of your workplace when your sure he's escaped, to remind you that you can never escape them alive. You don't have to be chained to the place and you won't want to escape even under the cause of death.

Seventh Heaven
It's the last one baby, yeah the last one. It's self slavery. It's the highest form of slavery where your a slave to yourself. The only supposed people to break out of this form of slavery are now known as "Buddha" or the "Son of God" a.k.a. "Jesus". To totally dedicate yourself selflessly throughout your whole life to mankind. Upon realization of your destiny, you give up every selfish desire and dedicate yourself to the goodness of mankind no matter whether the law might dictate otherwise GO SWEET ANARCHIST JESUS Opps, did I say that out loud? He taught the people the ways of the church... but he never was in a church now was he? He formed his own little organization which was not a church until after he died for quite a while too. Heh... simple minded fools of the present we all are. ;)

Selflessness is FREEDOM!
Yes, your selfish desires trap you as the last barrier even harder to break than death's vicelike grip on us all. If you can break this barrier, your obviously not reading this information from this website and your reading it either telepathically or by seering it from the past/present/future. Because if your being selfish by reading this website physically when your could be furthering your cause for humanity, you just got caught in that last barrier called Self Biatch! Alauz Out.

Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow

Life Begins

Contract
Yes, I got a job. If you knew which one I took, you'd think I'm crazy. Well, I don't suppose it being a temporary job means anything more to anyone anyways. But nonetheless it's confirmed. I start work on Monday and I'm going to sign a 3 month contract tomorrow. Means I've got some work laid out in front of me until the 17th of December. It's going to be interesting and dead boring at the same time. It's kind of a mundane job at SPH, but hey whoever said the first step into a preferred career was easy?

Linkage
Oh did I also forget to mention that it's got absolutely nothing to do with writing? Yeah it's not that kind of job. BUT however, since one of my long term goals is to be a publisher. It's got some association with my long term goals. It's good to know I'm at least headed towards my long term goal rather than just working my short term ones. It's something like instant gratification vs long term commitment. I'm like most guys, who want instant satisfaction. But since my shots at instant career didn't take off, it's only logical for a man to start working towards a long term goal with no profit whatsoever for now.

Brokage
Yeah, I also forgot to mention that I'm kind of broke now. Haha, money from this job is infact the lowest paying job among the 6 job offers I've been accepted into. I rejected all the other jobs that pays around 1.4-1.6 thousand a month for a job that's ... well barely hitting 1 thousand. Like I said, it's a crazy, stupid, dumbest thing a guy like me should do.

Fame or Fortune?
But like I said, passion is everything. Experience from this job would look promising for a guy who is aiming for anything to do with the media. I also considered the fact that I absolutely abhor the thought of being a celebrity so the idea of an instant celebrity by becoming popular online flew right out the window the moment I thought of it. How is it that walking a path of your own choosing seems sweeter than a path others lay before you? Perhaps it's the easy way out, considering the fact that the paths that were laid before me were pretty standard fare for the young graduates with diplomas or degrees.

Owning the Choice
I make the call, as masochistic as that may sound. I think that taking the toughest, most painful, emotionally distant path, may actually reap me benefits that I might actually appreciate instead of bitching away on how measly my instant gratification jobs benefits were. At least if I come away seemingly empty handed, I know that I've gained an insight that only the shrewest of business men can understand in a merciless industry such as the media. It's got something to do with the job and no, I'm not telling you what its' all about. This job isn't confidential or classified. But few writers actually concern themselves over this aspect of the print media.

Learning
The more mind numbingly boring a job gets, the more to a job that actually meets the eye. It's usually in the most boring of jobs that bring about the most interesting of revelations. Being a computer engineer was considered to be one of the most interesting and cutting-edge jobs back when the computer revolutions started. However, in reality the job is as interesting to some as watching a donkey deposit some dung. It's all about attitude and the approach taken and you'd miraculously discover that there was far more to your mundane job than you would have believed.

Perspective
If you think I'm stark raving mad, perhaps I am. Infact, don't assume I'm not. I'm a raving lunatic out to brainwash the masses into believing that God wants us to live free. I'm the Beast to unite mankind before the final hour. If mankind does not stand together as we fall, then when would we ever stand together after? I think the age of man is fading and the age of something else is about to begin. Let us be united as a testament to our legacy upon this universe, let us be remembered not for all the petty squabblings and civil misadventures. Let us be instead, remembered as a species to be reckoned with. A race of beings that survived on diversity and ironically enough, harmony. We shall be remembered as God's work on dichotomy and that there was one species that were both good and bad at the same time, in all sense of the words good and bad.

Legacy
We are God's legacy on earth, the meek shall inherit the earth and as mankind became mighty, we shall be toppled by a meeker being as our time is over. Very much like the dinosaurs made way for mammals, we shall make way for something equally glorious to partake in this mysterious world. Forgive me for my lack of tack in the matter but I do not believe that this message delivered in any other form would be any less impactful. Here's to the end of our epoch! Cheers! Alauz Out.


Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow

I love Weird Al Yankovic

Can you sense the sarcasm in all his songs? I really love how he can sing this without laughing like crazy. If you don't get Weird Al, his songs are always mean the opposite of what he sings. It's ironic and funny. You should go listen to all other songs by weird Al. I highly recommend it.

Timeless

Dawning
If you notice the time of the post, you'd realize that I've been writing this post as the sun was dawning upon our tiny island. If you must know how ridiculous this all must sound, you must also know that in another 3 hours I am going for a job interview. Madness? Insanity? Crazy? Those three representations of the very state of mind that I am in? Perhaps it's just because I can't sleep for fear that I'd oversleep if I did.

Major Psychology
With that out of the picture, let's concentrate on what I have to say today. Please fasten your seat belts while I fly you thru time, space and the whole continium thing. I've been having the weirdest urges lately. I reverted to a hermity existance for the past few weeks. I even stopped exercising for some reason unknown to me. The motivation is there, perhaps it's more of a mental block somewhere.

Science and Mystism
I think somewhere along the lines of history, these two terms have always come in conflict in humanity's struggle to change and yet maintain some sort of morality while changing. Perhaps if you don't understand it now, you'd understand it if I stretched time backwards around four hundred years ago. People who wanted to study the human anatomy had to resort to grave robbing. And that was extremely frowned upon in society back then.

Morality
So what happened to the person who was found grave robbing? They usually lynch the bugger before he has a chance to defend himself proper. But now? In modern day society how much has changed in terms of Morality? I believe that there are as many things sacred to us today as in the past. The only difference is the type of things that are considered sacred. Perhaps one example is Matrimony. It used to be that it was extremely sacred and it's union was binding to the point that only death may release one party from another. Now we can just sign some papers and it is dissolved. No doubt you have some repercussions, but it's nothing compared to the need for death.

Matrimony
I'm not aiming marriage on the whole, it's just merely an example of how Morality has changed from the past couple of centuries. Our so called modernization is merely changing what's important to us. Eventually, the human race will die out naturally as every human on the planet adopts a "self above others" mentality that seems to be rather prolific in the world nowadays. Let's have less or even better, not have children because we'd lower our standards of living to below what "I feel is acceptable to myself".

Selfness
Sure if only ONE person in about twenty couples think like that, there'd be no problems. But right now, in most developed countries. There's only one out of twenty couples who are thinking of having many children. It's a simple math calculation. Estimate around 30% of the population in developed country are capable of producing children at any one time, out of that 30%, 70% want to have just one or no kids. So in total the statistical spread would be 30% want to have more than one kid, 35% just one kid, 35% no kid.

Statistics
Let's be generous and say out of that 30%, the average kid count is one and a half kids. So let's say, this is the case for one generation of child bearing adults, say about 30 years. Let's say the population will shrink by about 30% in 30 years. Let's say it's the WHOLE WORLD's population and let's see what's the outcome of natural self repopulation works. Population is X.

Equation
Equation goes like this:
X - 30% = X/100 * 30
X - 30% + (30%/2 * 3)/2 = X/100 * 30 + 45%/2
X - 30% + 27.5% = X - 2.5%
X over 30 years = X - 2.5%

Result
So the verdict, thru simple math, once the world's demographic starts thinking like the scenario I mentioned above, 30% more than 1 kid, 35% just 1 kid, 35% no kids. Then the world's population will shrink by 2.5% every 30 years. Right now we're still maybe one generation from reaching that stage. The so called 3rd world countries are still having healthy concepts of having more than one child. But that's bound to change once they hit developed status. And that's when the end of the world will begin.

End of Humanity
As the end of humanity slow encroaches upon us, we will not see it happen during this lifetime. But rest assured that our success will be our very downfall. The world's population will be decreasing by the time it's year 2101. With constant fighting and dieases claiming us faster than we can recover from them we'd lose more than just 2.5% every 30 years, it'd be nearly 1% a year.

What the Future Holds
When it's roughly 2893 the human race should be less than 1 million. Unless something changes along the way, humans will be extinct roughly 3000. That's a short time considering the fact that we've been around for roughly 50000 years. So PLEASE help the humanity end itself by doing EXACTLY what your doing right now. I'm serious, END IT already for us. Think for yourself, STOP, don't think for humanity, it's too lofty a goal. One person couldn't possibly make a difference right? Heh... Alauz Out.

Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow

Missing

Action
Yes people, I've been missing in action. MIA in it's acronym form. I've mysteriously disappeared and almost no one had contact with me for the last few days. I like to do this as a social experiment on occassion. It tests whether what kind of friends you make. If you made pro-active friends, then chances are someone would automatically call you when you slip under the radar. But of course since I went MIA, means the friends I keep are the more passive type.

Passive vs Active
There is no clear cut winner of this comparison. It's actually more to our individual tastes. I for one am an introverted extrovert. What does that mean??? It means I'm a shy socialite, a person who take time to warm up to people. But when I do, people feel that I can get pretty social and go out pretty often with them. Normally it takes anywhere between 6 months to a year before I feel comfortable enough to behave like an extrovert with a new friend.

Personality Problem?
Yeah, sometimes I wonder what the heck's wrong with me. When people first know me, I'm like so weird, shy and so abstract from the world. Then when you know me long enough, POW! I change into another person and I become like any other friend who does the normal things a friend does. Perhaps it's because of my apprehension of making the undesirable friends. I've had some nasty experiences before, I had a major change in personality after that. I guess this is just the way to filter the unworthy from the worthy.

Worthy Friends
Friends whom I find worthy, are usually showered with attention and help when they need it. Unworthy friends are usually ignored, ostracized and generally we barely even communicate. Friends are supposed to hang with you through thick and thin right? Well, it all depends on how thick and how thin are you and your friends willing to endure together. But hey, true friends are gems in the rough. You won't know who your real friends are until the situation calls for it.

People
We should all go out to meet new friends. At least that's why one of my friends is telling me. I used to be all excited about meeting new people and making friends with them. But after a bad experience of being abused and misused, the toad was bitten and now he's shy. It's still easy to go out and meet new people, it's still easy to strike up a conversation. But it's no longer easy to trust a stranger and even harder to let them become my friend. Hurt done by a friend runs deeper than I thought it would. There's nothing more painful than being hurt by a friend whom you trust alot.

Getting Over It
It's easy to say, "Get over it!" But it's never easy to do. I mean, time sure does heal all wounds. However, there are some wounds that time only heals halfway. I don't know if I'd ever go back to the person I once was, that was a person who loved socializing, had no problems expanding his social circle, was willing to try new relationships. Right now, I'm more of a train wreck that can't do any of the above. I've been like that since I entered NS. It's sometimes quite painful to see myself like this, I know I've got to change soon or I think I'm in danger of becoming a bitter, angsty and vengeful person. I guess I'm off to change myself now. Alauz Out.


Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow

Steve Irwin

Determination
I have a confession to make. I partially admire dedicated people. I admire the fact that despite the odds stacked against the person. The person continues to do what they do unphased. Steve Irwin was one such person. When he was alive, he constantly confounded people by remaining forever ethusiastic, passionate and sincere in the message he tried to bring across. Despite the fact that he drives me up the wall, he kind of inspires me. If I had one tenth of his determination, I will be much, much more than I am today.

Greatness
Instead of this crappy blog, I might already been a writer for the news who is more controversial than Mr. Brown. Maybe I might even be tortured by the ISA years ago. Who knows, with the sheer amount of determination and spirit, I could have made an impact so large. Maybe large enough to put Singapore recognized by more people around the world. Hopefully in a positive manner rather than negative.

Respect
I respect Steve, I really have to say that if I never watched his programs before, I might never have had the awareness of the need to conserve animals here on earth. He sent out a strong message that animals aren't things without feelings, animals are things that sometimes are more human than we are. And if we don't do our part to stop poaching, hunting them or destroying their environment. Then we wouldn't see them around anymore. It's his message that touched each and everyone of us that used to watch his shows.

Eulogy
On this day a good man fell in service of mother nature. He had fought bravely against the cynical human nature of people and gave morality to people who had none. Despite the people who laughed at him, I who have laughed loudest, have the utmost respect for him in death. To be able to affect the world like he did, he is indeed a great man. May your legacy be remembered fondly by all whom you have taught the value of conservation. Alauz Out.

Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow

Hiatus

Thought
I've put much thought into these few days. Some call it the hermit syndrome, others call it the anti-social vibe. Well, thinking is not so much a thing you do. But rather something that I LIKE to do in silence and free from interruptions. You rarely get that when your out with people, thus I like to keep myself away just to complete the thought process.

Coherence
What you think about doesn't need to make sense. If everything you thought about made sense, then you wouldn't be a normal human anymore. When we think, randomness in our thoughts reflect heavily on the Chaos of the universe. With Chaos comes balance and all things that mediates us. If your thoughts are devoid of Chaos, then your definitely OUT OF BALANCE. Because if you can no longer decipher Chaos from Balance in your thoughts, then your already lost in the Chaos and have lost the Balance that allows you to see it.

Sense
Does my previous paragraph make sense? If not then you are already lost in thought that is nonsense. To tell the difference of Shadow from the Light means there's Light. To nonsensically claim that you have "banished" the Shadow only means that your now totally dominated by it because the only way for that to happen is the absence of Light. Do not fall down that dark path if you value your soul. While the world has absolutes, we may only become pure Shadow and never pure Light. Why? It's because we're the ones that cast the shadow, when the Light shines upon us.

Not one or the Other
What am I saying? That humans cannot be pure Good? Yes, that's EXACTLY what I'm saying. Only one being in the whole universe that is pure Light, it is God. To maintain the balance that is the universe, he made us half Light, half Shadow. Thus if we try to lose one and become the other, try as we might but we will only become pure Shadow. It's because God's already pure Good. So which one do you want to become? Buddha said that we should all live the "Middle Path". What does that imply? I seriously don't know about you, but I know which path I'm taking.

Contradictions or Clarity
You may think that I'm constantly trying to contradict myself. Your right. Thru contradictions, I balance my arguments against one another. Thru that balance, we find out after two opposing arguments crash, which argument is the strongest OR is there a middle path out of the deadlock. Thus in constantly contradicting yourself, you find out your true nature. You will choose between two difficult decisions and when you make a choice between the two or take a different path, you learn more of your own True Self.

Good, Evil or Lots of Both
Everyone falls into 4 categories
- Quite Good 70-90%
- Middle 50+-%
- Quite Evil 20+%
- Just Plain Evil 20-%
As you can see, there's no Just Plain Good. Not even a Saint is more than 90% good. But people can be 100% evil. So that explains part of the human nature and thru that insight, opens up a tiny fraction of the universe's nature.

Thought Betrays Us
Why we cannot be good? It's because if we reach that extreme, we no longer have anything to judge ourselves. We no longer have a moral compass to show us which way to handle a situation that would warrant 100% goodness. By losing that moral compass, it's like your conscience suddenly fading away because you literally become your conscience. And in becoming the very thing that made you good, you will fall into darkness because all inhibitions restricted upon you will cease to exist.

Breaking of the Mold
Thus you can do ANYTHING and there'd be nothing holding you back. I mean it, people who claimed to have conquered themselves end up becoming tyrants. The Alpha Figure is one good example. He or she is the shining example of what all their brethren aspire to become. Thus this Alpha figure can implement ANYTHING I mean anything, and all their brethren will comply. In a more "human" example I shall go into fanatical leaders. They are the perfect example of people who claimed to have conquered themselves.

Terrorism is Enlightenment
Yes, the leaders of all the terrorism around in the world are our conquerors of themselves. They have finally broken down that final barrier and became power incarnate. Your greatest enemy is Yourself. And if you conquer that, you become the very essence of power. Your charisma, confidence and ability will be unopposed by all. And when you go unopposed in your actions, you take revenge on all those who has wronged you or the people you love. You become an Angel of Wrath literally.

Enlightenment with a limit
So for all those who have been reading my blog. I've always asked you to become more enlightened. Here's the counter argument that is long overdue. And that's why I know that I am a nasty person who keep telling others to become what I dare not. I'm going to hell for this cowardice, but I ain't doing it without a clear conscience. Ironic? Haha, then you obviously don't understand the machinations of how balance works.

Scales of Balance
Let me say something before I end today's Brainwashing Session. If you commit a Wrong, you can commit a million Rights and that Wrong will never be repaid. Thus after I expose you to Evils of Enlightenment, it's a Wrong. Warning you about the consequences of becoming Enlightened, is a Right. But the Scales of Balance doesn't work that way. My warning doesn't nullify the wrong I've done. Let's make a more rational example.

From Terrorism to Charity
"IF the Al'Queda decided to STOP all terrorist activity and started to use it's resources to rebuilt and support all the lives affected by their terrorism for the next 50 years." Will it nullify the fact that they did all those acts of terrorism? That's what I'm talking about, your sins ARE NOT LESSENED by the good deeds that you do. So PLEASE, please don't think you can buy your way back into heaven. We're all going down for the sins we've done. Hehehe, see you there. Alauz Out.

Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow

Phoenix

Flames of Rejection
It feel strange saying this from a non-break-up kind of perspective but yeah, I'm going to say it. It is still painful even though it isn't personal, it's something that keeps me sharp and jolts me back to reality. I just realized this morning, that the people involved in direct sales, are seriously very deluded. And that manager plays his brainwashing techniques on the delusion of the young.

Phoenix Down
So he kills their years as a youth by promising them a proper "education" in attitude, then takes advantage of the fact that they want to experience hardship
and just pushes them to work for him without question. I mean their basic pay doesn't even have increment of ANY SORT. What the bloody heck is going on there? If I didn't know better, it's GAWD DAMN Illegal to do that in Singapore. You've got to increment their pay my man, or inflation's going to eat them. ALIVE.

Burnt to Ashes
I'm sure the turn over rate in this company is CRAZY HIGH. It's a direct sales company, I can't believe I'm still bitching about it. I can't believe the Trainer I thought whose innocence was cute, called me to try and prick my conscience. I'm quite sure she just wanted me to go and work for that manager who she thinks is quite an angel. An angel of pain, suffering and negligence. But and angel to her nonetheless.

Rising from the Dead
And I pray, for the world to balance itself. I know for sure that if this company closes down, there'd be 2 or more upstarts that will take its place. So I know I shouldn't pray that it closes down. But I pray that this form of marketing will die out quickly. But it is run by people who think that Hell on Earth is the "in" thing that all youngsters want to experience. I want to experience the working life, not hell on earth with no reprieve.

Angels on Earth
I believe that Angels exist still, but they work thru more mysterious ways. Like example, treating another person with respect, kindness, love, appreciation and affection could be God's way of making Angels of the person giving out these actions. They say God's will cannot be denied, no matter you are one of the flock or not. God works through every single one of us. His wrath is felt from us, through us, for us. His agents we are, every single one of us. When you commit and action you thought not possible, perhaps God is at work.

Devils on Earth
It's not really Devils as per se, it's more like God's other cardel of Angels. These other Angels are the a twisted opposite of their former selves. They have sacrificed all that was Holy, Pure and Innocent to work towards God's grand scheme of things. Devils are to be feared, true. But God should be feared even more, many people forget that. The Devils are capable to make us do things like, greed, lust, gluttony, basically the 7 sins and more. They pull us in the other direction, making us take people for granted, abusing our family, do thoughtless acts. But without them, we will never know that appreciating our blessings the lord has already bestowed upon us.

The Balance
I feel like a bloody turncoat. Always showing people what's on the other side of the coin. Perhaps if you look at the coin's exterior, there are 2 obvious sides. But I tend to look at a coin from 5 different perspectives.

Coin's Interior
I look at the coin's interior, is it a solid coin? Is it a trick coin with multiple coins combined into one?

Coin's Build up
I look at what the coin is made out of. Copper, Nickle, Gold or is it an Alloy? Is it heavy? Does it shine or is it dull? What does it taste like? Is it mallable, meaning if I bite on it, will it leave a mark?

Coin's Exterior, Heads
The so called Heads of a coin, why do we "coin" the term heads? Hahaha, it's a stupid pun I know. I'm guessing that in the past, there was a Head on every side of a coin. And there was a Head of a conquerer or the like so thus you have to look at the design and appreciate the impact this person made on the world.

Coin's Exterior, Tails
Why is it called Tails, perhaps at one point in time there no longer were 2 Heads on a coin no more. People wanted to have separate denominations of coins using the same type of metal. Thus instead of using different metals to signify the different denominations, they decided to put the denomination value on the coin's flip side. Thus in terms of an animal, the opposite of a Head of the coin would be the Tail of a coin. It's more important to look at this part of the coin though, it tells you usually how much the coin is worth.

Coin's Exterior, Side
Oh yes, this is a 3 dimensional world, thus we cannot only have 2 exterior sides. Thus, the side of the coin also makes an impact whether you know it or not. If you notice the sides of the one dollar and fifty cent coins here in Singapore. You will notice that instead of grooves like the rest of the coin, there is the name of our country on it. Sometimes it's small things like that, that catches my attention. Perhaps I just like a little bit of detail or I'm a nit-picker. But a side of a coin tells you alot about the effort put into the minting process. It gives you the country's level of commitment and dedication to it's processes, other words tell you how strong the country's economy and productivity is.

Over Analyzing
The fact is I'm Biased and Judgemental. I need something upon which to Judge and be Biased about. Thus I came up with these observations thru fundamental analysis. I like to look at the root of things rather than just the results. I believe that the phrase "I don't care how it's done, as long as it gets done" is bullshit. Your telling me that to achieve this level of profit for an organization, your willing to commit crimes against humanity. Your going to hurt other people, maybe even your own families and you have no Qualms about it. I like to say this to you people, "Fuck You". Fuck you! I'm serious.

Think before you Speak
Kind of Ironic isn't it? We've been taught these values since young, I've been rejecting it since day one. I do not believe in the fact that we only want results. What ever happened to "The Journey is more important than the Destination."? That is far more important. Go watch the movie "Click". That is a PERFECT example of ignoring the journey and focusing on the results. What if you had the power to Fast Forward your so called "Boring" parts of your life? You'd end up with NO LIFE.

Walk the Talk
Not the other way around. I've been walking the path I've been bitching about for so long, sometimes I wonder if anyone in this world is going to give a shit. Well, nobody's giving a shit what I think for the past like 12 years since I decided to walk my own path. It doesn't matter. When I die, my conscience is clear. I know that I've done what I came to earth to do. I won't try to bluff my way during Judgement, because there wouldn't be a need to. Say what your heart tells you to say, do what your heart wants you to do. When you die, it's too late to have any regrets.

Passion
Do what you want to do in life. It's NEVER too late. Even if your 90 years old, but if you decided to finally give sky diving a try. If you survive, you have one heck of a memory. If you die, you go to heaven with a rush in your veins and not sour regret that you never done something you REALLY wanted to do. Put your soul into your passion and let it blossom into reality. Do not ENVY others who have done so, join them. I am trying to do what I love, no regrets if I end up a bum. It's better than saying, "I could have gotten that job if I gave it 100%".

Do! There is no Try
Do things, plan if you must. But you have to follow through with action or your just bluffing yourself. Keep the promises you make to yourself, it's HARD. HARDEST thing any person alive can do. But you can do your best. Notice I did not use the phrase, Try your best. It never works if you try your best. Do your best is better. Excuses are there to prevent us to hurting ourselves. But without hurting yourself a little, you will never know if you can do it. The attitude cannot be trained little by little. You have to gather whatever courage you have and just do it.

Everyone can do it
I mean it. Everyone, if given the right push can do it. The tricky part comes next. How much is the right push? That can only be decided by the individual AFTER the push has been made. Sometimes, the push is too light and the person just not motivated enough to do it. Sometimes, the push is too heavy and the person feels battered into doing it. And rarely, the push is just right and the person becomes like me. Yeah like me, I do what I want in life. Sure I'm affected by everything that everyone says. But I continue to walk the path I want to walk, not another path someone else lays in front of me. That is not courage, it's your soul in motion. Alauz Out.

美しい (ki-rei-na) Beautiful.

Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow

Work

Working
Sucks, truly, deeply and always the case. But that doesn't mean we can live without it. Anyways had an "Orientation" with a "marketing" company today. I won't disclose any names of the people or company involved as to protect my privacy. Who knows, they might start hunting me down and pester me until the moment I leave this earth.

Sucking
Oh yeah back to the orientation. It was a wonderful tour of a location I will now avoid to mention in the case where some of you are living there and saw me or the case where you passed by that area and saw me. In other words, you never saw me. Well, the tour would be wonderful enough, if there wasn't work to be done. This time, work was to gather donations from the people living in the above mentioned unmentionable location.

More Sucking
Guess what the job's all about? Direct Sales! You got it! OMG NO FREAKING WAY I WILL EVER, in my no matter short life will I EVER take a DIRECT SALES job EVER AGAIN! Well, enough with the shouting and screaming and raving. I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE THIS JOB'S DIRECT SALES! AGAIN! Fuck, I think direct sales is really hard to get out of my system. But I'm surprised at my tolerance level. I did not scream, shout, inflict bodily harm or rape any of the people involved with my orientation.

Interest NOT!
Well, I even managed to endure the WHOLE day, of helping along with direct sales and even make it back to the office at the end of the day. Which happened to be 6.30pm by the way. I cannot believe I even managed to act interested when the manager had a 2nd interview with me regarding joining the company full time. Then it occured to me, if I can take the punishment from this merciless orientation in this job. I can take all the bullshit in the world. And that my friend, was exactly what happened when the manager opened his mouth to attempt to brainwash my mind.

Behavioral modification
He touted that the company wants the right "attitude" from their staff. And he tells me that he joined the company 14 years ago and he's now a manager of this branch and he's earning a 5 digit salary. He said that the company molds the right "attitude" in people and sets them out with the "right" attitude to succeed in life. I knew at once, that this brainwashing center has gone ballistic on the youths that it has ensnared.

Innate Resistance
Of course like any self respecting writer and person who has manupilated people since I was in secondary school, I saw right thru this brainwashing technique. In essence this technique can be described as, "Making them think the way you want them to and making them think that they wanted it in the first place."

Brainwashing Jutsu
A constant user of this technique myself, I found the attempt truly amusing. I faked compliance and told him I would like to seek the correct "attitude" upon entering the company. (Yes I agreed to work for them verbally but never signed a contract of any sort) Little do they know, I'm going to screw them royally when I wake up tomorrow. The reason why I didn't screw him over right away there and then, I was absolutely smitten by this really kawaii trainer and her equally cute partner they had assigned me.

Taming of the Beast
They used the "Mei Ren Ji" in Chinese, translated to english would be using a beautiful bait for the hook. I decided to spend the day with 2 cute girls and the trainer's endless flirtations, visual eye candy and enjoyed the friendly banter that 2 cute girls can only provide. They are both younger than me, consider it a fresh meat bonus. I feasted upon the non-physical companionship today and had a really scary insight into the company.

Complete Obedience
They had brainwashed my trainer to the point she is most probably stuck in her current position for the next 3-4 years without her even realizing it. She has already been in her position for over 2 years and she's one of their best direct sales girl and she's STILL a trainer. For the lost, the trainer position is the very next position after you finish your trainee stage. "HOLY CRAP! They sure did a banged up job on her." I thought to myself when she said that.

Patience
I wanted to ask her why she isn't in a higher position, but I refrained from doing so because I knew I would only hit the "Brainwash Barrier" oh so common in the techniques used by these marketing companies. I really like her I thought to myself, I must be getting soft. By the way, lookswise, you normally wouldn't give these girls a second look. What made them cute to me, was their innocence and desire to help others. It helped that they weren't fat, but they looked good enough in their jeans and collared Tees.

Innocence
I am two years older than my trainer and she's like 3 years older than her partner. They are exactly the same age as my 2 younger brothers. I guess that also made me feel alot closer to them. The whole feeling I had today, was a feeling you would normally have with close siblings. Perhaps that's why I got soft. They purposely planned the two ladies that reflect my brothers' age to work on me.

Corporate Cruelty
I believe that the company will cruelly exploit every single young person they get their hands on. They will warp their minds to a point of no return and use those warped minds to warp others to their own. If it were just 1 year ago, I will not tolerate such actions and seek to destroy what I can. But I aged, wizened or just perhaps grew up a little. I will allow nature, no matter how twisted, to run its course. These companies exist only to ensnare the weak of will and mind. It is no surprise I was the only one with a diploma applying for the job.

Nature's Way
Survival of the best. It has always been nature's way of handling things. If those two poor innocent girls are misused, I will allow it. The experience will either destroy or strenghten their minds. What that will not destroy them, will only make them stronger. While my soul longs to rescue them from this exploitation, I tell myself that they will not understand even if I managed to get out.

Destruction of one's beliefs
Did I also mention they have "chants and cheers" together at the start and end of their day. The manager said that this is to encourage a positive mindset. I however have seen these rituals present in most cults and secret society meetings that aims to convert the souls of people to their form of worship. While this is disturbing my beyond a reason of a doubt, God has shown me that he allows such things to exist only so that these things may strengthen us. Why has he allowed my mind to remain intact after exposure to so much of these strong controlling influences otherwise?

Open Self Discussion
I believe that people who talk to themselves aren't crazy, but rather, are dealing with issue that are quite serious. Otherwise there wouldn't be a need to openly tell others what their thoughts are about. A mention of the habits of the trainers, they ALL have open conversations with themselves. Every, single, one of them. I suspect it's a form of hyponosis, to allow them to do their jobs better. While I go no qualms about getting results from a job, but when my trainer starts giggling to herself out of the blue. When she starts talking about things not related to work, with herself. I start to worry about the thin string of sanity that's holding her together.

Attraction
Yeah I admit, I'm abit of a psycho lover. I LOVE women with problems. It's obviously not because I like to take advantage of them. No proof to back that up however, so it's up for interpretation. I would like to admit that I'm quite a lover of problem solving. A problematic woman is like a flame and I would be a moth to that flame. That trainer of mine, has me running fantasies about solving her problems after only 3 hours of working with her. I knew right away that she's got problems, she's got enough problems to get me hooked onto her within 3 hours.

Problematic Women?!
Why the heck will a guy EVER want a problematic woman? I don't know, I guess every good boy's fantasy is a bad girl. The trainer has problems, sure, but she still talked about everything under the sun and some that the sun doesn't shine on either. I guess they are trained to do that. To attack thru the person's weakness, the very fact that she's bait serves dangerously to the attraction I had for her. I know that they use females as bait for guys, it's an easy enough plan. Guys are stupid creatures that follow their dicks more than their heads.

Do not be UNOFFENDED!
Guys out there, please take offense. Prove the me the fuck wrong about what I just said. Thinking with our pants is the very thing us guys are good at. The fact that some Gay men also think with their pants isn't a very encouraging sign either. Considering the fact that I didn't turn down the employment offer instantly and decided to spend my day with 2 cute and innocent ladies. It god damn means I thought with my pants instead of my brain. But damn it's going to be much easier to reject the offer tomorrow when I'm not face to face with them ladies.

Pussy on the Pedestal
Oh this phrase was first introduced to me by the show, "40 year old VIRGIN". I am one such man that puts pussies on the pedestal. And no, they aren't coming down anytime in my life. Respect the pussy my man, your mom gave birth to ya and she deserves to be on that pedestal. If you don't put your mom on that pedestal, you are in need of some serious life's lessons. It doesn't matter if you felt that your mom didn't treat you right. She gave birth to ya, instead of aborting ya. That act alone makes you owe her man. We all owe our mothers. Say you appreciate her or you might miss the chance if you keep waiting for the right moment.

Doing the "Right" Thing
In order to preserve my very identity and my sanity. I will do the very thing all companies hate in potential employees. I will call in tomorrow and tell them I'm not going back on Monday like I promised. I shall instead, continue looking for a job that does not have influences that will turn me into a mindless working zombie whose purpose in life is to make my superiors richer while torturing myself and telling myself it's all part of life.

Changes in my Life
Perhaps all jobs are like that in a way, but I have changed, I am no longer an extreme masochist and do not desire a lifetime of HELL on EARTH followed by true HELL afterwards. I already know I'm going to Hell, so I should do something that's more bareable so at least I don't feel like I'm in Hell while I'm still alive. Alauz Out.

Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow

Conversations

Divinity
Had alittle talk about the divine with one of the most unexpected sources today. My younger cousin, that's you Jasmine I know your reading this like I told you to. You bet I'm writing a little of what we talked about today. Or rather what I kept mouthing off about while she was all coy and listening. It all started when I asked her to call me because my handphone was deaders. I can't make out going calls anymore because I haven't paid my bill in 3 months. It's kind of unintentional, but that's another story.

The Calling
So she's on a nice little thing we call a "study break" but I like to call it "Let Loose Week". Then she calls me up and we started talking about how uncanny that I can still receive incoming calls and send sms even though my bill is left unpaid. We prattle on until suddenly she starts asking me to go to church. I implore you that this is only because she felt that it was kind of boring seeing only my younger brother at service.

The Decline
"Nope" I told her. Then she starts to ask me why and starts saying I should just come down to church and promised that it'd be fun. Well, uncompromisingly I decided to tell her that it's a long story. But she said, "I've got the time", thus it all started. We started talking about my reluctance to churches and why I feel that I feel betrayed when I go to church. I started with the hypocrisy that I had experienced in some churches I've visited in the past. And went on to say how the break up with one of my ex made me fear going back to churches again.

The Fear of Compromise
I have this fear that to control the people, the church has changed some of it's original scriptures to make them more appealing to the masses. If I'm not wrong, this is done on a regular basis by the catholic church by a special committee charged with making changes to their canon laws, rules and regulations. I strongly believe that if it is anything to do with religon, there cannot be any compromise.

Compromise Negative
By compromising what we believe in, how can we still be sure what we believe in is the absolute truth? If there is going to be an absolute truth in our world, it has to be religion right? It is what we fall back on when our beliefs are tested, when we need to make a judgement on morality. But what if what we thought was carved in stone, ISN'T? Wouldn't that shatter the millions or billions of lives that depend on it? According to Man, religion is a lifestyle, something we hold in high regard because we'd be following the word of GOD.

Compromise Positive
But when the things we believe in, change almost yearly. How can you expect me to believe in a religion like that? It'd be like betraying GOD on a yearly basis. And you cannot expect me to compromise on something that's going to be the CORE of my beliefs? Can you compromise what's RIGHT or WRONG? Can you compromise if you had to question your beliefs everytime someone comes up with another "Da Vinci Code"? That is not religion to me, religion to me means that if GOD will punish the wicked and reward the good. He MEANS it.

Despicable Man
And the despicable MAN, tries to GOAD people into their religions, committing sins while covering it up using lies and deception. Saying that if you sin in "THIS Particular way", it's not considered a SIN. Now now, your saying contraception is not a sin? But isn't against the will of the lord to withhold life? You say abortion is not a sin. But isn't it killing an unborn child? SURE it will make life EASIER for the people involved. But is it RIGHT? In the lord's eyes, he can tell for sure if we were right or wrong. But what I cannot accept is, the fact that WE cannot accept what's RIGHT or WRONG.

Personal Views
My personal views are one of obviously biased, Neutrality. If mankind wants to go to hell when our time is up, so be it. God did not send me down to educate people on what is right or wrong. God sent me down here to live my life among man, helping those who cannot help themselves. To help others, does not mean I have to commit sin. To help others, does not mean I help others to a point that I become the very thing I sought to help. You cannot become a helpless if you seek to help.

Survival of the Helpful
If you really want to help the world, seek first to ensure you do not need help with anything. Like Jesus said, "To remove the sand in another man's eye, first remove the LOG in your own." If you are quick to JUDGE others, be quicker still to JUDGE yourself. Follow the golden rule, DO UNTO OTHERS, WHAT YOU WANT OTHERS TO DO UNTO YOU. If you like others to be concerned about you, you will first have to be concerned about others. Even if the whole world thinks otherwise, do not falter. For if you do, then you will be the very thing that you sought to help in the first place.

Words to the Helpless
The Lord has one thing he constantly say to mankind. "Give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. Teach man how to fish, you feed him for a lifetime." There's only one flaw in man's interpretation of the Lord's words. Teaching a man to fish is one thing, teaching a man to fish for himself is another. I maybe here to educated who I can, does that mean my responsibilities end at merely teaching what's right? NO, I also have to ensure that what I teach is practiced. If merely disseminating knowledge, I have done NOTHING. To truly receive GOD's blessing, you must also DO what is right.

Ignorance
Ignorance is said to be man's greatest sin. We blame everything on ignorance. In not knowing what is RIGHT and WRONG, Adam knew not what was SIN and what was NOT. GOD decided that since Adam doesn't know what is right or wrong, he will take it up to his greatest creation, his right hand archangel, Lucifer to help in the education of mankind. He gave Lucifer a domain of his own and charged him with giving "Knowledge" to Adam. Lucifer did it by enticing Eve and making Adam eat from the tree of "Knowledge".

Difference between Orthodox and Enlightened
IF you are a traditional Catholic, Christian or a follower of any orthodox religion. You will now tell me that "Knowledge" is EVIL because Lucifer was the one who told Adam and Eve to devour it. It is TECHNICALLY better for all Mankind have no "Knowledge" because it is the root of our banishment here to earth. So how can Ignorance be man's greatest SIN? Without knowledge, isn't ignorance all that is left?

Judgement
But it is said in the bible that GOD punished Ignorance just like any other SIN. Thus the weavers of the bible is caught in a bit of a lie. I believe the bible is not complete and many parts of it were changed to fit Man's Ambition. I believe GOD wanted man to have knowledge and sent his greatest angel, Man wanted to rule other Man thru the LACK of knowledge, thus putting "Knowledge" in evil light by demonizing the bringer of Knowledge.

Truly Evil
What is truly more evil? The Devil is supposed to PUNISH the Wicked. If the Devil was truly evil and free from GOD's control, then WHY PUNISH the Wicked? He should be rewarding them with unimaginable pleasure. Thus an easy conclusion to his true nature, he is still an Angel of God. As much as you hate to admit it, you will truly hate the Angel of Death. It is a thankless job, it truly is. Who venerates an Angel that brings death? Thus we Demonize the angel. Making the Angel of death EVIL and BAD just because he seeks to bring all GOD's creature back to their maker for Judgement. There's nothing more truly evil than the true nature of some MEN.

Wrong or Right?
So what now? You know that the Devil tempts us to do evil deeds, he only does so to ferret out the TRULY worthy to enter Heaven and the those who AREN'T worthy but only pretend to be because they don't want to face Judgement. Only a coward will blame the Devil for his temptation, for he has already lost the battle to remain pure in his soul. Those who truly believe will never blame the Devil for tempting them, infact they will appreciate his temptation because he has shown them their true nature. Fear the Devil they say, I say no, fear yourself. You are your own greatest enemy, the Devil is merely there to test you. It's his Job.

Opinionated
I admit I'm extremely biased and judgemental, I'm definately going to hell for the sinful things I've done in the past. I'm not saying that if I help others understand what GOD truly wants from them, then I get to go to heaven. I'm doing this only because I feel is the right thing to do. It doesn't matter that I'm going to hell for punishment, I deserve it. I fear more however, is going to heaven to face GOD's Judgement instead of going to hell. Like I said, I'm a GOD fearing man. There's nothing more powerful or scary than an almighty GOD. I mean NOTHING. Alauz Out.

Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow

Rejected

No Surprise
Yeap, I was rejected for the application at HBO. But hey, it's but one of the many jobs I got rejected for. I missed yesterday's blogging because I was too preoccupied trying to get more resumes sent and look for new opportunities with regards to jobs.

New Direction
Well with that over and done with. I've started on a new direction on what kind of jobs I'm willing to accept. But I've also decided to accept a job that's outside of the media industry. I know it's kind of weird wanting to go into the media industry when I'm so obviously under-qualified. But I guess my academic qualification is merely part of my total experiences.

Forge
And I'm going to continue forging ahead with my mind sharped and constantly re-molded for the different types of challenges I'm going to be facing. My forge is heated and ready to shape the words I will use for this war called life. May we never give up hope for it is all we truly have. Alauz Out.


Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow

The Sacred Weekends

Taboo
Do you know why I normally don't write on the weekends? I believe in something called alone time. But seriously speaking, since this is a site where I safely assume I'd be the only guy reading my own blog. I guess I can break this taboo of writing alittle about my weekend.

Sunday
So the sacred start of the week is upon us. My dad flew in from Indonesia just last night. I feel like it's been 2 months since I last saw him, but I know better and it's only been a month. But it seems so much of my life has changed over the course of the last 1 month. Instead I felt like perhaps I've gone thru half a year's worth of experience in such a short time. My visions ain't helping either.

Concept of Time
Perhaps it's the visions that make me feel like time is being stretched. My conciousness is slowly expanding to accomodate the dreams and my life. The expanded conciousness literally moves between the future and the present constantly. I mean I've been having waking visions, yeah it started on Friday and it's just been making feel this warped sense of time. In essence, I view a vision that's, let's say 15 mins of time. But in reality, it only takes but 15 seconds. Perhaps that's to blame, perhaps not.

Visionmania
Lots of visions this weekend, my brother also proclaimed to me he's had a weird dream where he actually remembered some of the details really clearly. For my brother, it's a big thing because it's his first time he's had such clarity. Perhaps it's our blood, but I'd have to say I had a vision of him telling me that about 15 mins before it happened, or was it 15 seconds before he started talking? Time works in such mysterious ways.

Blood Seers
Perhaps that's the term I'd call myself and my family. It's not every member that'd have this unusual ability, it seems it's rather selective. But it definately seems to skip certain siblings. Truthfully speaking, one of my dad's brothers passed away when I was in Poly, he seemed "disturbed" according to my father and his family. Perhaps he was experiencing what I'm going thru right now and reality and the visions were no longer distinguishable from one another. A frightening thought to be sure.

The Bloodline
My dad said he also had such visions when he was younger. But it faded in his twenties. My dad's younger brother however was in his thirties and he still seemed to have visions. You see, there's a pattern I spotted. My dad is of 7 siblings. My father is the 2nd of 4 brothers and 3rd child in the family. My uncle who passed away was the youngest of them all. I suspect the eldest sibling who is also the eldest brother, has the same abilities when he was younger. But of course that's just assumption. But if that's true, then the pattern would be alternate siblings, specifically the odd numbered males seems to have outward symptoms of this affliction.

Curse of Sight
Perhaps it's a gift bred into the blood for some purpose of survival in the past. There are many families from different cultures with special abilities, some have the ability of bodily constitution, some have great strength, some like the wolfmen of mexico are born with hair around their bodies like ancient humans. Perhaps my family's way of survival was precognition. Perhaps if you've been a follower of the Three Kingdoms Era, I am a direct decendant of the family line that spawned Zhen Luo who was Cao Cao's daughter in law or more specifically, Cao Pi's wife.

Question of Survival
Perhaps the ability had already been developed then, perhaps after that time. But I suppose this sight allows of us to make decisions based on the near future, perhaps that's what kept people alive back then. Who knows, maybe Cao Pi had advice from his wife regarding how to end the war.

Short History Lesson
For those of you who don't know that piece of history, Cao Cao died before China was united under one banner, instead it was Cao Pi who finished the war. If you don't know the devastation of the war, it costed China roughly 70% of it's population fighting the war of the Three Kingdoms. So I guess foresight of any sort would be invaluable advantage in war. But after all that digging, I'd say this is all speculation. Noone alive truly knows if there's any truth in what I deduced.

Troubling thoughts
Perhaps my young uncle was unable to control his ability and had alot of problems communicating what he saw to the people around him. Nobody was willing to help him, my dad for one was kind of afraid of talking to him. I wonder why sometimes. Perhaps there's a sense of realization of the curse of our blood runs stronger in my uncle than any of their siblings? Or because my uncle had episodes where his speech is alittle abnormal. A couple of months before he passed away, he spent some time with my family thus giving me a chance to look at his condition.

Experiences
He would be rather quiet around the house, he smoked alot. And he asked alot of questions while speaking. Asking us about what we thought about the universe and stuff. I guess I'm pretty much like him in terms of curiousity. He was perpetually sad though, it seemed that he had a troubled cloud over him everyday. Then again I think in my generation, I'm fated to be the one where the blood runs strong again. I only hope my visions don't destroy my soul like it seemed to do to my uncle. Alauz Out.

Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow

Second entry

Inspiration strikes
Leave your leaves at the door but feel free to trudge that mud all over the floor.
Heaven calls but you only answer to Hell.
Kodos may only exist in a world where war is a craft.
Planets called Xena have Gabrielle as their moons.
Why do we compare the ones we love to fishes in the ocean?

Insanity's Vice
The grip on sanity is very subjective, infact do you know that people who we consider insane might consider us the same. That's a fact indeed. They must wonder why our senses are so dulled and unaware of what they see and hear. Who knows but one of them may be the Christ Reborn on the planet. He might have been sent here to save us all. But what do people do to the ones that proclaim wildly? We lock them up and declare them insane or just outright ignore them.

Raincheck Terra
I proclaim a raincheck on our planet. Are we all as "sane" as we think we are? Is there something more sinister making us behave the way we do? Are humans really that dense? So many questions that only a raincheck can do. The surest way to do so however, is to let everyone do it themselves. Just check on yourself, do you think we should be so passive bout the things around us? What if the war in the middle east ends the world the very next day? Do you guys not think about that? I don't want to cause needless worry, but are you sure that what I'm talking about is needless to begin with?

Lifeblood of the planet
What if I told you the oil drillers were lying? If oil wasn't made up of the creatures that died millions of years ago and buried under the crust. I personally say it's all bullshit, if animals died, the meat is decomposed in a matter of weeks by bacteria. The bones crumble to dust way before the earth covers itself in another layer of land. So where does oil come from? I say it's the blood of our dearest planet. It's very much alive and I think it's trying to speak to us. It's telling us to stop draining it of it's blood, which I believe is oil. How can we say that just because oil is made up of hydrocarbons, it's made up of dead animals and plants? Our bodies were born of this planet, so how did we come about?

Ravings of Sanity
What if I told you the opposite, that we were made up of our planet. And oil perhaps is the basic building block that sustains the so called "life" of our planet? Without oil, who knows what might happen? Perhaps the planet might lose it's magnetic field, perhaps it'd suddenly lose half it's gravity or maybe the internal heat of the planet would eventually subside? Whatever that is, it's going to happen in our lifetime. And when it does, let's just say maybe it has already warned us beforehand. I'm going to waste anyone's time by telling you guys to stop. But I consider all who read this, warned of the impending possiblities of our silly endeavours. Alauz Out.

Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow

Timetripping

Time
It's passing by my mind at a pace I never thought possible, which is my pace. I've always thought time waited for no man. Ironically it's man that invented time, thus I don't know the truth behind that statement. Time was not time until man came along and started quantifying it. Mayflies never knew they lived twenty four hours, turtles never knew they were living hundreds of years. What's a year to a turtle when it's got such a long life? Then again you look at the mayfly, to it one minute is precious beyond comprehension. So what's time to you guys?

My Pace
So what did I mean by time moving at my pace? What I meant was that right now, time is moving a super comfortable pace and to me, it seems that 24 hours is stretched to 36 hours. My perception of time is slowly adjusting. I feel like I had a full 12 hours rest but I've only slept for 8. When I do my tasks, I find that I complete them in half the time I used to and when I play or relax, I always find that I've more time left over than I might have expected. In a way, I feel like I'm taking things slow and easy, but time seems to be taking it slower and easier. It's a good thing, for I feel like time's happy being my partner and all.

Read my Past
If you had read one of my past posts, you'd have realized that I said that time was man's one true love. What if time fell in love with man? What would that be like? Haha, well what I'm feeling right now kind of feels like the result. Perhaps I am a lucky guy after all, then again I may just be growing some temporal apathy. Either way, it's going to be difficult to overwhelm my senses at the present time.

Living Large
So why the heck am I writing my blog instead of going out to abuse my new found sense of time? Hehe, it's hard to explain but I like to mould my thoughts into written words rather than going out and "wasting" time. Perhaps that's a partial explaination of what's happening around me. I don't have much wasted time anymore. Even if I do waste some, it's kind of insignifcant compared to the time I'm saving. Why I woke up today and I thought it was sunday already. But actually it's saturday.

Japanaradio
Listen to Japanaradio. Support it, and they thank you from the bottom of their hearts. Hahaha, oh well I felt guilty listening to them for free for so long. But hey, if you guys like anime music, you should tune in now and then. Lots of time, time is our friend. Alauz Out.

Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow

Indie Music, Change, The Apocalypse

Music
Oh yeah, sweet music. Seriously speaking, I never really had a favourite genre until last year. I found out that yeah I like alternative music. Not crappy noise that has no meaning but good music with a feel good factor. Listening to "All Time Low" by Jasey Rae right now as I write this paragraph if that's some indication of the type of artists I enjoy listening to for the past 1 year.

Preferences
Oh yeah I also love the setup "Love Psychedelico". Perhaps it the little japanese culture infused into me while I was still learning Judo. I kinda fell in love the way english and japanese fall over each other. Somehow the mixed chinese and english songs by mandy, coco lee or the other chinese singers never quite hit the fusion melody of japanese and english songs. It's sad and perhaps a little disturbing to me but I love fusion music. You think that it's kind of ironic? Well I don't think so, technically speaking mixed language music is not considered mainstream because of the speech barrier to many. Anyways I consider it alternative anyways.

How mixed is mixed?
Well, I consider a song with compositions of at least a quarter of ONE language and the rest of ONE other langauge, qualifies as a official mixed song. It's a little hard to gauge but here's a simple trick. Pick a song with 2 languages that you can speak, then listen to the song and listen for complete sentences or half sentences. A properly fusioned song will make proper sense to you. At least you'd be able to understand it and feel that the grammer in both languages are both fulfiled at the same time. For the japanese mixes I've been listening to, the language mixes very well and I can understand the lyrics along with the full feeling put behind the song. Chinese mixes face a heavy problem as intonation plays a heavy part on the feel and melody of the song and meaning of chinese, thus it never truly mixes into perfect fusion with english.

Exceptions, there always are!
But however, I've also heard chinese and japanese mixed songs. These are heavenly to listen to because both languages merges together so perfectly it's unbelievable. But then again that is also because the artist is very good in both . I love fusion, alternative and especially alternative fusions between 2 languages I understand. Songs mixed in English, Chinese, Cantonese, Japanese and it'd be fantastic if I can listen to more of such music in the near future.

Patience or Initiative?
Sometimes I feel that I should be patient and wait for the world to change around me. Then again sometimes I feel that sitting around waiting for people to get ready for change is a bloody waste of time. I am truly torn all the time. I know people need time to change and accept new facts, especially about life and the appreciation of it. But on the other hand, people use that as an excuse to stagnate. I push for change by changing myself as example, I change the way I do things, the way I think, my whole life is turned upside down. Scary but my spirit, attitude and desire to change stays the constant. What's the point of changing if after the change you become a rock and never change after that?

Flexibility?
I hate the fact that to be flexible means you have to be inflexible, the fact that I need to constantly push myself to stop routinizing things and do things using a different method. It's a routine in itself which is ironic, isn't it? So what does this make me??? A rock that's constantly changing shape on the outside but I'd forever be a rock on the inside. A person whose purpose in life is constantly enact change around him but sadly he's constantly changing everything else about himself except the fact that he has to be that bringer of change. How does one enact change in others? He's got to have passion, lead by example, benefit the people around him. But that's a FIXED way of changing others, so I've experimented different ways of achieving this goal.

Methods of an Anarchist
I've concocted a mixture of methods used by people to enact change. There's reverse psychology, standard psychology, shock treatment, awe treatment, forceful enactment. That's what I've been able to discover so far. To affect change around me however, there's one way that always works but it isn't very pleasant or good for my personal reputation. It's the shock treatment coupled with forceful enactment.

Efficiency
It's brutally effective and never fails, but it's also the method with the most negativity. Obviously not a good choice if you want to continue enacting change. But it is an extremely effective method to enact one GIANT act of change to the people you have influence over if your content with enacting ONE change and nothing else after that single change. Of course the person enacting this change must be in a position of certain power or social influence otherwise it wouldn't work.

Acts of Brutality
And one example famous in Chinese history of one such act would be the Emperor Qin's change of people's way of life by abolishing over a hundred different forms of writing and consolidating it into a single written language. It's a change that would NEVER happen if you left it to conventional diplomacy or psychology. It had to be done with FORCE and punishment of DEATH to successfully enact. Back then, nobody can even understand why would he do something so "fool-hardy" as to destroy hundreds or even more than a thousand years of written history. If you were there you would think he's mad, crazy, unreasonable and a downright criminal. But nearly two thousand years later, we see the benefits of what he's done. Because of him, the Chinese culture is connected and more united than let's say, Europe.

Evil to be Good
If let's say Europe had a ruler a thousand years ago who conquered every corner of Europe. And he decreed there'd only be French as the official written language. Then he destroys all written language written in every other language. Impossible you say? It was done in China thousands of years ago, even before the first monarchs were present in Europe. But imagine how different the world would be? The predominant language would be French instead of English. Infact English was a culmulation of the many different languages in Europe. Would it be good for Europe to have a common written language? I'm sure it would have facilitated things to no end and they would be a much stronger force to be reckoned with right now. Now they decided to come up with a common currency but that's nothing compared to a common language.

Powerhouses
It's safe to say that Europe would have been another China and it's potential would have been limitless. I'd say that economically it'd be stronger than America, infact we might not know if America would be discovered because of the major changes in history if their languages were unified. Infact I foresee a different past where the Europeans pushing back the Mongol hordes and Gengis Khan. With a common language, the Europeans might have had a horde that could rival Gengis himself. It'd be a bitter fight and not some one sided slaughter. The key would be communications. I say that an army consisting of men who all speak or write the same language is much more mobile and powerful than an army made of foreign alliances with language barrier and dependent on translators.

Back to the topic
Oh yeah on the topic about how to enact change, people need to understand a fact that the world changes even if they do not. If you slowly sink into a routine now, your going to be rudely awakened one day when your routine no longer fits like a glove into your life. Things like world politics may not seem important to you. But tell that to the poor souls in the World Trade Center when the terrorists decided that they can't take being ignored by the public anymore. God rest their souls. So please wake up and realize that politics affect us whether we like it or not. And it affects us so deeply that it can mess relations with your neighbors living next door, the cashier serving you your food, the terrorist trying to blow up your embassy, your future wife or even the job your working in right now.

For the Good of Mankind
What I strive to do is constantly bring wake up calls to the people who willfully put themselves into a numbing stupor that they call their "social circle". By shocking my lecturers out of a job, I jolt their perception of the power that students have over their lives. By defying orders and yet staying out of persecution from the "system" in NS, I've also woken up the people involved. I send the message, the world is changing and you better clean up your act or there's going to be more people like me who cause trouble and cannot be punished due to your flawed "system". There's no such thing as a "system" whose rules fit thru the ages and never needs to change. As time changes, culture changes, systems collapse and new systems are set up again, to be torn down. It's a natural cycle of the world, no immortality for anything.

Universe speaking to your soul
Can you not hear what the very fabric of the universe is trying to tell you? Each and everyone of us has a connection to each other and also the universe as a whole. The whole concept you might think I'm ripping out of "Star Wars" but I'm not. In the world, everyone is linked to one another. You cannot hurt another without hurting yourself. You cannot help another without helping yourself. Man has come up with so many explainations for this connection we have with one another. I do however believe there's a conciousness present in this bond we have with one another. Infact I believe this bond doesn't just encompass humans alone. But all things, earth, plants, water and animals.

Bonds we share
Thru the bonds I sense the constant desire to "settle down" into stagnation. In order for us to survive I know that we cannot afford to do that. Once we do, there's no turning back and the human race will be doomed into extinction faster than you know. With the amount of technology we have right now, we very well can end our existance right now if we do not continue to grow, adapt, evolve into better beings. We cannot afford to be complacent with our progress thus far and strive to greater things. God as we all know it, constantly strives to test us by allowing our stagnant nature to start wars. Wars in any language you imagine, is the work of God as we know it. He wills it to happen and it will. But it has come to a point where a war where using all our resources we have available is no longer an option. If we do, then armageddon will truly arrive right here, right now.

War
War is good for us, we all know that. Because of war, many technologies were further developed to gain an advantage over others. This has led to better automobiles, planes, ships, communications and other facilitators of our lives. Even with all these achievements, I'm sure God wants us to move bravely forward and develop other aspects of our technologies. But now with biological, nuclear, chemical weapons of mass destruction. God truly tests us on what aspects we need to concentrate on developing. Will it be transportation, artillery, ranged capabilities, communications, information gathering, tactics, spirit, protection equipment or perhaps something new. Wars have always brought out the best in mankind.

Action or Words
I've also realized that war has brought us the very tool that helps prevent it in the first place. Diplomacy and psychology. Mind games can be a powerful weapon in it's own right, anyone of you reading thus far should understand. What I do on an everyday basis would be meaningless to everyone of you, unless war comes. War can come in many forms, take example the Cold War. It's deadly enough but the casualties aren't always obvious. What do you think? I'm saying that a war is being fought right here, right now. And we're all just oblivious to it because we aren't taking notice of anything happening around me. We're fighting for our survial nonetheless, if you're rather uninformed.

Save the world
The war we're having right now, is the war of self-destruction. We're depleting our resources at a rate far faster than we're able to replace them. We're destroying morality, by lowering our standards on what's right and what's wrong. We're slowly bringing dictatorship like power to our leaders, which was the total opposite of what we fought to become. We're fighting a war of preserving our planet. Do we want to wake up one day and find out, there's no more clean water, air and land? Do we want to wake up and work mindlessly like zombies for our little lives while being oblivious to the plight of others? Do we want to wake up to an announcement that tomorrow would be the last day everyone will be alive, just because we couldn't be bothered to put an effort to change?

Change
For the last time, if you merely skipped to the end. The message is Change, wake up from that rigid stupor which is your life's routine. Take a look around you, observe the suffering of the others less fortunate. Learn to put yourselves into other people's shoes. Don't keep poisoning the planet like as if the planet owes you. Learn one new thing everyday, be it a single fact or a new name. You'd thank me one day. Trust in us, trust your fellow human. Alauz Out.

Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow