A dedication
Well, I've got say something ya. How do I say it though? Perhaps I shouldn't say it at all. Then again I guess it wouldn't be doing you justice. Figures that a person needs to bring up a certain amount of courage to say something like this. But here goes nothing. "Can I call you tonight?"
You know who you are ;)
Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow
Friday, April 02, 2004
Wednesday, March 31, 2004
Taste
One of the more interesting and mostly courted senses among our five senses. Professions have sprung up because of it and people have died in the pursuit of it. Don't be so surprised, what do you think happened too all those cooks who failed to meet the expectations of ancient royalty? Hahaha, you do know that tyrannical kings of old had some really cruel ways to punish the cooks that couldn't meet their high expectations.
So what about taste? What am I going to talk about today? Perhaps it's just that I went to the market today with my father. Yeah my father just came back from Indonesia and we decided to cook up a feast for the family. So we went to get pork, fish, prawns, tofu, onions and the works for the vision we saw as the food we're gonna make for dinner. Well spent most of the morning preparing the food that we brought home. Took a break to write this blog, why you might ask, well I guess it's because of circumstances that exceed mere human comprehension at this moment. It's more like a build up along the weeks of online friends sharing recipes, talking about food and getting the urge to cook has just gotten too much to contain and thus exploding upon the very fabrics of this dimension.
In other words, I have been cooking but I want to cook better. Hahaha, weird huh? A guy who actually enjoys this kind of shit. Hehe if only there was appreciation of what I do. But hey, who's to complain? I get to do what I want, whenever I want. I'm supposed to be lucky huh? Oh well back to preparing the food. Frustration is the key to improvement, contentment is the key to stagnation. Follow the Dark Side, for that's where the continued adaptation and improvement of the human race. Following the Light will only suffice to weaken and tempt us to be conceited with what we truly are. There's no emotion, there's only peace indeed, BAH it only serves to separate us from what we truly are. We're passionate beings, we will continue to strive for greatness no matter what the obstacle. Now back to food! hehe... people out!
Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow
One of the more interesting and mostly courted senses among our five senses. Professions have sprung up because of it and people have died in the pursuit of it. Don't be so surprised, what do you think happened too all those cooks who failed to meet the expectations of ancient royalty? Hahaha, you do know that tyrannical kings of old had some really cruel ways to punish the cooks that couldn't meet their high expectations.
So what about taste? What am I going to talk about today? Perhaps it's just that I went to the market today with my father. Yeah my father just came back from Indonesia and we decided to cook up a feast for the family. So we went to get pork, fish, prawns, tofu, onions and the works for the vision we saw as the food we're gonna make for dinner. Well spent most of the morning preparing the food that we brought home. Took a break to write this blog, why you might ask, well I guess it's because of circumstances that exceed mere human comprehension at this moment. It's more like a build up along the weeks of online friends sharing recipes, talking about food and getting the urge to cook has just gotten too much to contain and thus exploding upon the very fabrics of this dimension.
In other words, I have been cooking but I want to cook better. Hahaha, weird huh? A guy who actually enjoys this kind of shit. Hehe if only there was appreciation of what I do. But hey, who's to complain? I get to do what I want, whenever I want. I'm supposed to be lucky huh? Oh well back to preparing the food. Frustration is the key to improvement, contentment is the key to stagnation. Follow the Dark Side, for that's where the continued adaptation and improvement of the human race. Following the Light will only suffice to weaken and tempt us to be conceited with what we truly are. There's no emotion, there's only peace indeed, BAH it only serves to separate us from what we truly are. We're passionate beings, we will continue to strive for greatness no matter what the obstacle. Now back to food! hehe... people out!
Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow
Monday, March 29, 2004
Birthday galore
Well I found out two days ago that it was going to be my favourite god sister's birthday she also happens to be my cousin. Sigh, what's more it was thru ICQ too. Well I did offer to get her a present but then again she refused and I was forced to give her just good luck so that she'd do well in her upcoming exams. BAH I should be happy I'm not going to be spending what little money I have. But it's been so long since I even remembered her Birthday and I'm feeling bad about it. Hahaha, oh no this is getting to be like a normal person's BITCHING BLOG OMG SHIT!
Okay last paragraph in bitching about stupid things that's bugging me. Well then I found out that another of my friend from Israel was having her birthday on the day after. Hahaha, weirdly enough I just thought to ask her when her birthday was and it just happened to be the day after. No icq reminders or thinly veiled hints haha... just pure luck. Strange indeed.
Enough of this nonsense
I know why now perhaps I am supposedly devoid of the fuzzy feeling I've been seeking all this time. I've an inbuild defense mechanism that steers me away from feeling soft and vunerable. I know now why I never felt that way. It was because I never let myself get as far as to feel anything. I wall myself up so solid not even the sea can break into my heart. I don't think I have anyone to blame for that, perhaps just some guy syndrome I developed from endless beatings from adults during my childhood. Geez I really think it's affecting me in ways I never thought it would.
Ah well, so I've had another breakthru today. Then again maybe I'd find out another problem about myself tomorrow. Hahaha, don't think this will ever end, except until I die. Here's a poem of self discovery before I go.
Poem (Touchy or No?)
Touchy, Feely, Ethereal fire eats my soul,
Romance, Mushy, Something gnaws a hole.
Stalwart, Cold, Feeling fine,
Feelings, Unknown, Which are mine.
Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow
Well I found out two days ago that it was going to be my favourite god sister's birthday she also happens to be my cousin. Sigh, what's more it was thru ICQ too. Well I did offer to get her a present but then again she refused and I was forced to give her just good luck so that she'd do well in her upcoming exams. BAH I should be happy I'm not going to be spending what little money I have. But it's been so long since I even remembered her Birthday and I'm feeling bad about it. Hahaha, oh no this is getting to be like a normal person's BITCHING BLOG OMG SHIT!
Okay last paragraph in bitching about stupid things that's bugging me. Well then I found out that another of my friend from Israel was having her birthday on the day after. Hahaha, weirdly enough I just thought to ask her when her birthday was and it just happened to be the day after. No icq reminders or thinly veiled hints haha... just pure luck. Strange indeed.
Enough of this nonsense
I know why now perhaps I am supposedly devoid of the fuzzy feeling I've been seeking all this time. I've an inbuild defense mechanism that steers me away from feeling soft and vunerable. I know now why I never felt that way. It was because I never let myself get as far as to feel anything. I wall myself up so solid not even the sea can break into my heart. I don't think I have anyone to blame for that, perhaps just some guy syndrome I developed from endless beatings from adults during my childhood. Geez I really think it's affecting me in ways I never thought it would.
Ah well, so I've had another breakthru today. Then again maybe I'd find out another problem about myself tomorrow. Hahaha, don't think this will ever end, except until I die. Here's a poem of self discovery before I go.
Poem (Touchy or No?)
Touchy, Feely, Ethereal fire eats my soul,
Romance, Mushy, Something gnaws a hole.
Stalwart, Cold, Feeling fine,
Feelings, Unknown, Which are mine.
Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow
Sunday, March 28, 2004
Emotions?
I've always felt that I might be less than human. I could never associate myself with any emotions other than anger, fear and hate. I do not feel the love that so many have talked about, I do not understand the implications of Justice and loyalty that drives so many of us. But I feel them in a mix of emotions of Fear, Hate and Anger. Like to me, loyalty would be the mix of Fear of losing good friends and Anger at those who betray that trust. And Love would merely be the fear of losing someone whom I know exists but not because there's a connection of feeling between me or the other person. But I have never felt emotions the other way around. Love has never driven me to hate someone or loyalty has never once made me do something that was of my better judgement. Is there something wrong with me? I do not seem to feel the warm fuzzy feeling whenever I do a good deed, I did not feel a connection with any of my previous girl friends. Am I doomed to an eternity of feeling nothing but anger, hate and fear? Perhaps this is hell and I've been stripped of my ability to feel as punishment.
But what's this Peace
Okay, I lied about feeling just Anger, Fear and Hate. Recently I've also felt a strange sense of peace and calm that I have never felt before. Lol but this isn't love or any of the other feelings I've hungered to find. Nonetheless it was a welcomed emotion which I found comes often when I'm not involved in any human interaction whatsoever. Then again I suspect men and women have much more differences than originally suspected. It goes far beyond physcial, beyond mental and maybe even beyond the spiritual level. So perhaps I exist at such a level where no one would ever connect with me. Hahaha, I'm too cold, too calculative perhaps even too smart for my own good. Well I'm gonna leave this post as it is and let you people wonder if I'm ever gonna come to a proper conclusion.
Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow
I've always felt that I might be less than human. I could never associate myself with any emotions other than anger, fear and hate. I do not feel the love that so many have talked about, I do not understand the implications of Justice and loyalty that drives so many of us. But I feel them in a mix of emotions of Fear, Hate and Anger. Like to me, loyalty would be the mix of Fear of losing good friends and Anger at those who betray that trust. And Love would merely be the fear of losing someone whom I know exists but not because there's a connection of feeling between me or the other person. But I have never felt emotions the other way around. Love has never driven me to hate someone or loyalty has never once made me do something that was of my better judgement. Is there something wrong with me? I do not seem to feel the warm fuzzy feeling whenever I do a good deed, I did not feel a connection with any of my previous girl friends. Am I doomed to an eternity of feeling nothing but anger, hate and fear? Perhaps this is hell and I've been stripped of my ability to feel as punishment.
But what's this Peace
Okay, I lied about feeling just Anger, Fear and Hate. Recently I've also felt a strange sense of peace and calm that I have never felt before. Lol but this isn't love or any of the other feelings I've hungered to find. Nonetheless it was a welcomed emotion which I found comes often when I'm not involved in any human interaction whatsoever. Then again I suspect men and women have much more differences than originally suspected. It goes far beyond physcial, beyond mental and maybe even beyond the spiritual level. So perhaps I exist at such a level where no one would ever connect with me. Hahaha, I'm too cold, too calculative perhaps even too smart for my own good. Well I'm gonna leave this post as it is and let you people wonder if I'm ever gonna come to a proper conclusion.
Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow
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