Emotions?

I've always felt that I might be less than human. I could never associate myself with any emotions other than anger, fear and hate. I do not feel the love that so many have talked about, I do not understand the implications of Justice and loyalty that drives so many of us. But I feel them in a mix of emotions of Fear, Hate and Anger. Like to me, loyalty would be the mix of Fear of losing good friends and Anger at those who betray that trust. And Love would merely be the fear of losing someone whom I know exists but not because there's a connection of feeling between me or the other person. But I have never felt emotions the other way around. Love has never driven me to hate someone or loyalty has never once made me do something that was of my better judgement. Is there something wrong with me? I do not seem to feel the warm fuzzy feeling whenever I do a good deed, I did not feel a connection with any of my previous girl friends. Am I doomed to an eternity of feeling nothing but anger, hate and fear? Perhaps this is hell and I've been stripped of my ability to feel as punishment.

But what's this Peace

Okay, I lied about feeling just Anger, Fear and Hate. Recently I've also felt a strange sense of peace and calm that I have never felt before. Lol but this isn't love or any of the other feelings I've hungered to find. Nonetheless it was a welcomed emotion which I found comes often when I'm not involved in any human interaction whatsoever. Then again I suspect men and women have much more differences than originally suspected. It goes far beyond physcial, beyond mental and maybe even beyond the spiritual level. So perhaps I exist at such a level where no one would ever connect with me. Hahaha, I'm too cold, too calculative perhaps even too smart for my own good. Well I'm gonna leave this post as it is and let you people wonder if I'm ever gonna come to a proper conclusion.

Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow