Viola

Dreams Come True
Literally. It has come to my attention that my dreams on Friday night, about getting 2 interview requests, having an interview today and confirming another interview tomorrow and Weds. Has just come true to fruition. It's freaking me out even after all these years. It's disconcerting every freaking time it happens and some people say it'd stop when your out of your puberty. Well I waited and waited. And waited but to no avail. It keeps happening, now it seems my visions are concentrated on the short term rather than the long term ones.

Long term vs Short term
Back when I was younger, it was easier to accept the visions because I knew that it would be a while before they happened and I had time to kind of "prepare" myself for the eventuality. But now the visions are so sudden and they are intense and charged with emotion. It's as if something is directing me towards a goal. And it's using visions to kind of control the direction I'm supposed to take.

The Cycle
And this cycle of vision and me following them, either wittingly or unwittingly. It's something I've always been afraid to go against. It's as if I know that there's a heavy consequence that comes from breaking the vision chain. Somehow, I know that something very bad will happen if I don't go with the visions. It's like playing with the future, the past and the present. If I change something, everything gets altered and who knows what might happen?

Breaking the cycle
Should I try to break the cycle? This is a question I ask myself all the time, even when I'm deeply engrossed with gaming, TV or anything. I keep wondering what will happen if I don't go thru with my dreams. Will it end everything? Or the world? Or the universe? Am I part of something larger? Is it divine, demonic? Does it even matter what source my visions are coming from. What matters is that I'm not doing anything against my conscience in my dreams, so I go with the flow for now.

Questions
What if one day I dream of doing something totally against my conscience? If I were to see myself doing something like, making countless people jobless, making countless people suffer, making countless people die. If I see that in my visions, would I be able to stop myself from doing so? I don't know. Sometimes I worry, but if my visions are merely visions from a future that I personally chose my steps. Then I shouldn't worry, as I always had a clear conscience. But I do worry, what if my visions aren't my own. How can one tell the difference? No one can be sure.

Wonderment
I wonder everyday, if I had been a good person. And yeah I also kinda helped 2 tourists find their way from China town to Orchard Rd. Hehe, never thought that I'd go back to helping total strangers, but hey I don't know why I decided to go out of my way to help them. But it felt good. It's nice to know my heart's not iced up after so long. No quote today, my mind's all blown away.

Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow