So it Begins

And thus as I write this, I'm preparing myself for the fact that I've to go back with my on and off relationship with school. This time around I suppose school's a little more prepared for me than the last time I tried putting my faith into it. Maybe I should be bolder than I was before. Maybe I should go burn myself at the stake, haha. Nah just kidding, I suppose I should be rather honest with myself. I don't think I'd be burning myself out this time around. Sure I got to work hard if I want to get anywhere. But then again I learnt that if I don't pace myself this time around, I'm more than likely to burn out way too early.

I'm beginning to wonder if I can make it out of this round unscathed. But in case I don't hehe, I suppose I've to find a way to overcome it as I have the last time around. Struggling for my salvation seems to be quite the addiction I've grown rather fond of. Is any addiction healthy? I don't really know about that. Perhaps if your addicted to living a good life and not wanting to have any regrets. Haha... As for me, I'm hopelessly addicted to having drag myself out of future ruining moments. Perhaps I should stop attempting to sabotage myself in life. Taking a step forward shouldn't be a gut wrenching experience and something to be longed for.

Maybe the fear of getting somewhere, doing something or even becoming someone notable has me cowering. Weird right? I'm afraid that I might someday become someone of note. Someone who could be contributing to society instead of just fading into the background. Maybe because my motto of learning from mistakes makes me fear the fact that if I become someone important, I would definately screw up. Because that's how I learn things, thus I'm afraid that I might screw up something really important and I would just learn from it. But would the damage be too great?

Would it be something irrepairable? Something that might cause the deaths of thousands, millions or even billions? I can't help it, if I'm only human then I will definately make a mistake. Sigh... I'm hopeless. Too much planning into the future only gives me more insight into my own personality and the quirks that occur every now and then. Change myself? Perhaps I am already changing, I never gave this much thought to my own actions before in my life. Oh well, with all this decision making over and out. I'm quite sure now that I'd just go forth and conquer, myself and the world. One step at a time, slowly does it.

Watch out world, here comes a guy whose a walking disaster and he's not afraid of making mistakes! If I'm going to walk this earth, let it be on my own terms instead of cowering at the fear of making the mistakes of others. And so the time slowly arrives to fall deep into the restorative torpor we all call sleep. And don't mind me talking to myself on this blog, I do it all the time in my mind. Duality is such a pain in the ass, why oh why was I born a Gemini? Hahaha, Geminis ROCK! Well if you like crazy people who are as predictable as teleportation.

Let me leave you guys with a near incoherent rambling about internet radio that has been handed a royalty increase it can't afford.

Here comes another song,
Sing a long, Sing a long.
Shi tie ippai, noei i tie,
Darei ka da, kono se i iwa.
If you don't support us,
We'd be forced to shut down.
So please go, go to the website,
Help us shut the music companies down.
Thank you!

If you ever listen to online radio, support them at your own risk hehe. Alauz OUT!

Idiots of today, Geniuses of tomorrow